So I thought I would check back in here. Assuming by now Optifine and the other mods have releases for Minecraft 1.13. Haven't played the game since my last post. Just can't get into it. Noted the new contest here at Planet Minecraft - not sure I will make anything or not. It's probably about due.

Things just haven't worked out for me. Maybe I came into this community, this scene a little too late. Or maybe my work just wasn't good enough, didn't stand out enough. Was trying to focus on being creative instead of competitive. I still have a lot of work on myself to do, because if I was truly focused on being creative I wouldn't have been so affected.

Returning to level design for now, working with the UDK as my laptop can't handle UE4. Lot's of things I need to learn that I never properly learned. I started out as a mapper with Deathmatch Maker for Quake a LONG, long time ago. But I failed to make much f a dent in the Unreal community despite my timing being better.

Is it I am not skilled enough, or talented enough? Or could it be energy blocks - internal stuff from childhood patterns - that block me and prevent me from doing better? I guess I still adopt the belief that talent is a myth - what we see as someone showing talent is really just someone getting the hang of something quicker than everyone else. And skill is something anyone can develop. Maybe in the years to come we will figure out a way to make everyone learn anything quickly, and the idea of talent will simply fade away.

So I will admit to a continual lack of skill in all video game related work. I just have to get better. But first I have to find the heart to continue. Right now I still don't have it.

I hope you are all doing well on your various endeavors, and I wish you all well!