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How to be a Bad Server Owner

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RezzedUp's Avatar RezzedUp
Level 49 : Master Robot
327
Blog Genre: Satirical / Avoid list



This is guide on how to be the worst server owner possible. The two faces in the thumbnail are the faces of two bad server owners I've come across throughout my minecraft career. Basically everything in this blog is based on their actions as poor owners. Some instances may be more comedic than others, but some are also quite serious. To ensure the best server experience, avoid doing these things. Let's start off with a rather comedic one!



Step 1: Use your last name in your server name




Yes. Someone actually used their last name in their server name. You may think it'd give you more of a connection to your server, but in reality, it makes you look like you have such a big ego that you simply can't resist using your last name in your server name.



Step 2: DDoS the competition




DDoS'ing is super illegal. But hey, what's going to stop you? The law? Pft. In your mind, your server is above the law and must eliminate the competition.. or enemy servers.



Step 3: Threaten your players with grief




You know the only way to keep your players in line is to threaten them with grief. What else insures they obey the rules? You can't trust anyone! Not even your best players. One tiny slip, that house they've spent a week building is gone. That'll teach them!



Step 4: Ban players for playing on other servers




You need to make sure that your server is your players' exclusive server. Or else, they might be "converted" to other servers and not play on yours anymore. Put this idea into your mind: your server or none of your server.

Step 5: Steal builds




Lure good builders onto your server to build some things; maybe a spawn or something significant. Then when they're done, ban them immediately and claim you built the entire thing! If you pull off the other 4 steps, your players will have no choice but to believe you that you built the entire thing, even though they witnessed the other people build it.

Side note: A friend and I are directly affected by this one. Luckily, we got our build back. Click here to see. However, the owner has since given us credit.

Step 6: Hire your players



Now that you've banned all of your real staff, you have no choice but to resort to your highly brainwashed, incompetent players. They feel honored and praise you as if you are their master, which you are in your mind, of course. You know they constantly abuse their powers and break rules, but you don't care.

--

Thanks for reading. Again, avoid doing these things.

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Update #2 : by RezzedUp 11/27/2013 12:48:23 amNov 27th, 2013

Removed corrupted areas of the blog: "o��"
I don't know how those even got there in the first place, but they're gone now.
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pelagius_septim
07/30/2014 9:43 am
Level 36 : Artisan Architect
pelagius_septim's Avatar
That steal builds one is 100% awful, I built for a server and the owner offered me money, he then stole the build D: And banned me, but heyyy he was a pretty awful server owner :)
1
Pixel
07/30/2014 8:28 am
Level 42 : Master Mage
Pixel's Avatar
You missed something out:
When a player logs on, claiming that they're from Planet Minecraft and asks "Can I haz op", give it to them immediately to get a good review!
1
Hemetia
08/01/2014 9:09 pm
Level 27 : Expert Dragonborn
Hemetia's Avatar
xDD good one
1
SoraSatoshi
07/04/2014 3:35 pm
Level 29 : Expert Artist
SoraSatoshi's Avatar
lol, this reminds me of a player that got on one of my servers. He said "DDoSing isn't illegal if it's on minecraft".
1
WirelessNation
07/03/2014 10:34 am
Level 2 : Apprentice Network
WirelessNation's Avatar
Oh wow... Do people (/server owners) seriously do this? Gosh .-.
1
RezzedUp
07/03/2014 6:03 pm
Level 49 : Master Robot
RezzedUp's Avatar
It's sad but all of this was based off of real things I've seen server owners do
1
WirelessNation
07/06/2014 3:41 pm
Level 2 : Apprentice Network
WirelessNation's Avatar
:c Some people... *sigh*
1
leiger
02/10/2014 7:10 am
Level 18 : Journeyman Cake
leiger's Avatar
Step 1 immediately hit me :P A long time ago I chose to use the name "leiger" as my Minecraft username. Hopeless at creating other names, I named my new server "MCLeiger". It stuck. Whilst it's not my actual name, and nowhere close, it does match my player name.

I've been looking to rename it for a while, but a few core players actually insist that I keep it that same. Their insistence, along with the fact that it's got decent rankings in Google if searching for my username, are the two main reasons it hasn't been changed yet.

Still wondering if I should rename the server. The third thing stopping me, is my inability to come up with a good name that isn't too cheesy. Until I come up with a decent alternative, I suppose the name will remain unchanged.

Edit: I came here, after you awarded me a diamond for my PMC server page :) Thanks! With an article like this, I'm definitely awarding one back.
1
Pragmatic
08/24/2013 8:01 am
Level 15 : Journeyman Narwhal
Pragmatic's Avatar
I think I know one of the server owners who inspired this post due to his love of banning people for telling the truth but maybe you could tell me who the other person who inspired this was
1
GG50
08/23/2013 7:46 pm
Level 31 : Artisan Toast
GG50's Avatar
This tutorial reminds me of how North Korea is ran :/
1
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