Blog Genre: Satirical / Avoid list

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This is guide on how to be the worst server owner possible. The two faces in the thumbnail are the faces of two bad server owners I've come across throughout my minecraft career. Basically everything in this blog is based on their actions as poor owners. Some instances may be more comedic than others, but some are also quite serious. To ensure the best server experience, avoid doing these things. Let's start off with a rather comedic one!



Step 1: Use your last name in your server name

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Yes. Someone actually used their last name in their server name. You may think it'd give you more of a connection to your server, but in reality, it makes you look like you have such a big ego that you simply can't resist using your last name in your server name.



Step 2: DDoS the competition

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DDoS'ing is super illegal. But hey, what's going to stop you? The law? Pft. In your mind, your server is above the law and must eliminate the competition.. or enemy servers.



Step 3: Threaten your players with grief

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You know the only way to keep your players in line is to threaten them with grief. What else insures they obey the rules? You can't trust anyone! Not even your best players. One tiny slip, that house they've spent a week building is gone. That'll teach them!



Step 4: Ban players for playing on other servers

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You need to make sure that your server is your players' exclusive server. Or else, they might be "converted" to other servers and not play on yours anymore. Put this idea into your mind: your server or none of your server.

Step 5: Steal builds

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Lure good builders onto your server to build some things; maybe a spawn or something significant. Then when they're done, ban them immediately and claim you built the entire thing! If you pull off the other 4 steps, your players will have no choice but to believe you that you built the entire thing, even though they witnessed the other people build it.

Side note: A friend and I are directly affected by this one. Luckily, we got our build back. Click here to see. However, the owner has since given us credit.

Step 6: Hire your players

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Now that you've banned all of your real staff, you have no choice but to resort to your highly brainwashed, incompetent players. They feel honored and praise you as if you are their master, which you are in your mind, of course. You know they constantly abuse their powers and break rules, but you don't care.

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Thanks for reading. Again, avoid doing these things.