Dragons are widely regarded as human eaters and are feared by most, but most people don't know that dragons don't just make good final bosses; they make a great meal too! This holiday season, impress your guests by turning the tables and eating what eats you; below is a multistep recipe for preparing a monstrous main course that will wow your guests and possibly give them a 3rd-degree burn.

Step one, Safety Precautions.
It is important to note that when handling dragon meats of any cut, the risk of injury is high and most chefs who dare to cook the uncookable inevitably find themselves surrounded by the ashes of their former kitchen with no draconic dish to show for it; however, you are different! Take the following precautions so that neither you nor your credit score is injured while preparing this dish.

• Wear heat-resistant clothing. Probably the most obvious safety tip; even a dead dragon is still a dragon and the impossibly high temperatures of a dragon's insides can linger for years after its death. To give a sense of how hot these past-tense creatures can be here's a quote from the late dragon enthusiast and gastronomist Lester Cookington, "OW AHH YEESHH AGHHH OH MY GOD WHY WHY AGHHH!", he was recorded saying moments before his death when he stuck his hand into a slab of dragon meat; based off his screams his colleges estimate the internal temperature of the meat was around 213 Degrees Farenhieght. Oven mitts should do the trick.
  
  
• Keep a fire extinguisher nearby. The heat radiating of a dragon is so intense it can act as an igniter, setting any flammable materials around it aflame.
  
  
• Be careful where you put that meat. Never place dragon meat on or near oil, gas, or grease, as it will ignite the liquid and burn your house down.
  
  
• Use sharp knives. Dragon meat is unreasonably tough! and your standard kitchen knife just won't stand against the thick flesh of the dragon. Your favorite chef's knife will dull and bend under the tension of dragon meat, we recommend serrated adamantine knives, preferably enchanted with the latest assortment of sharpening spells; please speak to your local wizard before putting the meat on the chopping block!

Now! With that out of the way let's get into the recipe! here are some of the items you will need before we get started.

• 1 200 lb cut of dragon's meat, an "Off the Shelf Item"
  
• 1 'really fucking big' skillet
• 1 regulation sun-forged industry-grade flamethrower
  
• 1 gallon of weakening fluid
• 13 oddly shaped jalapeno peppers
• 1 chef's knife
• 1 peeling knife
• 1/2 gallon dragon's milk (preferably from the same dragon)
  
• 25 pieces of salami
• 1/2 a dead goat
• 1 dead chicken
• 1 cup of curry powder

And if you have the ingredients listed above you can begin following the steps listed to cook your dragon!

1. Prepare Your Meat to Cook.

1. Begin preparation by de-scaling your cut, use a peeling knife, roll the meat on a flat surface while holding the knife to the dragon's scales, shave each layer of scale with small cuts like a big potato, large cuts can damage the meat and scratch your knife.
   
   
2. Next, pour your gallon of weakening fluid onto a flat surface and roll the meat in the fluid until it looks like "A swedish meatball covering in transparent gravy".

2. Cook your meat.

1. Place your dragon meat onto your 'really fucking big' skillet, pour 2 quarts of dragons milk into the skillet, roll meat until the milk has been absorbed by the meat.
   
   
2. Turn on Industrail grade flamethrower, the weakening fluid breaks down the meats natural heat resistance, turn the flamethrower to '10'
   
   
3. Rotate the skillet so that the blast of the flamethrower reaches all angels of the ball, prod the meat so it rolls and you can scorch it's underside
   
   
4. Once the meat is properly blackened fry your 1/2 a goat and your 1 chicken in the skillet until they reach a brownish-orangish-tanish color.

3. Seasoning and Stuffs.

1. Squeeze the juices out of the 1/2 a goat and 1 chicken over the salami pieces, the juices have been properly squeezed when the goat and chicken are completely pale and white.
   
   
2. Using your bare hands grind the jalapeno peppers, then mix the grinded peppers in with your curry powder.
   
   
3. Violently throw your salami sliced onto the meat, they should make a "Splak" sound.
   
   
4. Lastly, sprinkle the jalapeno and curry mix over the meat slab.

Voila! You made dragon into a food! (Don't try this at home.)