Published Oct 22nd, 2012, 10/22/12 7:24 pm
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Well, it's been a long time since I posted any sort of submission due to the projects I've been working on (spoilers) and so I thought since I don't have much else to do, why not post a bunch of jokes I've heard recently? Most of them are probably things that you've heard, but still... And... if you want to see more, please feel free to post your own in the comments or PM me and they'll probably be featured in a future issue :)
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1) Hey! Did you hear about that body they found? Yeah, it was really weird. There was just a naked dude in the park, and his body from the head to the shoulders was covered in milk and cheerios. There was a bowl on his head and a banana and his chest. They're pretty sure it was a serial killer!
In case you didn't understand... Cereal? Get it? xD
2) Q: Why did the snail paint an "S" on it's new sports car?
A: So when it went by, people will say: "Look at that S-car go!"
In case you didn't understand... Escargot :P
3) Two men are ballooning, and he realizes he is lost. All of the sudden, he finds a skyscraper with the window open. There's a man inside, and the balloonist asks the man where he is. The man answers: "You're in a balloon, obviously." The man tells the other man in the balloon: "I know where we are now.", and the other man asks him how. The first man says: "We must be at Windows Tech Support."
In case you didn't understand... It's a joke about how unhelpful Windows Tech Support is :P
And finally...
4) Three men die and go to heaven. They meet up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, and he says, "Well, there's not that much room left in heaven, so you have to tell me an interesting way that you died, and if it's interesting enough, I'll let you in. "So St. Peter goes into his office and calls in the first man. He says, "I was coming home from work one day early, and when I walked in the door, I had a strange suspicion that my wife was cheating on me. I walk into our room and sure enough, find her sprawled out naked alone on our bed. Sure that the guy was in the house, I searched frantically to find him... Under the bed, in the closet... Finally I found him hanging from our ledge on our balcony. Furious, I stepped on his hand and he went plummeting two stories down. However, he landed in a bush and I wasn't sure if he was dead yet. So I pushed the refrigerator out onto him. Later, I felt so guilty I committed suicide. "Wow," said St. Peter, "that's a pretty fantastic story. "So St. Peter calls in the second guy. He said, "One day, I was having an argument with my wife. She gets so mad that she pushes me right out the window of our fourth-story apartment. So, quickly I grabbed onto the ledge of a balcony on the second floor. Then, suddenly, some nutcase steps on my hand and I go plummeting to the ground. Luckily I landed on a bush, but then the nutcase drops a fridge on me! "Then St. Peter called in the third guy. He says, "Alright, picture this: You're naked, and in a refrigerator... "
There isn't much of a way to explain this, but it's pretty funny once you read through it :D
And that, is all for today!
Byeeeeeeeeee (^_^)
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1) Hey! Did you hear about that body they found? Yeah, it was really weird. There was just a naked dude in the park, and his body from the head to the shoulders was covered in milk and cheerios. There was a bowl on his head and a banana and his chest. They're pretty sure it was a serial killer!
In case you didn't understand... Cereal? Get it? xD
2) Q: Why did the snail paint an "S" on it's new sports car?
A: So when it went by, people will say: "Look at that S-car go!"
In case you didn't understand... Escargot :P
3) Two men are ballooning, and he realizes he is lost. All of the sudden, he finds a skyscraper with the window open. There's a man inside, and the balloonist asks the man where he is. The man answers: "You're in a balloon, obviously." The man tells the other man in the balloon: "I know where we are now.", and the other man asks him how. The first man says: "We must be at Windows Tech Support."
In case you didn't understand... It's a joke about how unhelpful Windows Tech Support is :P
And finally...
4) Three men die and go to heaven. They meet up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, and he says, "Well, there's not that much room left in heaven, so you have to tell me an interesting way that you died, and if it's interesting enough, I'll let you in. "So St. Peter goes into his office and calls in the first man. He says, "I was coming home from work one day early, and when I walked in the door, I had a strange suspicion that my wife was cheating on me. I walk into our room and sure enough, find her sprawled out naked alone on our bed. Sure that the guy was in the house, I searched frantically to find him... Under the bed, in the closet... Finally I found him hanging from our ledge on our balcony. Furious, I stepped on his hand and he went plummeting two stories down. However, he landed in a bush and I wasn't sure if he was dead yet. So I pushed the refrigerator out onto him. Later, I felt so guilty I committed suicide. "Wow," said St. Peter, "that's a pretty fantastic story. "So St. Peter calls in the second guy. He said, "One day, I was having an argument with my wife. She gets so mad that she pushes me right out the window of our fourth-story apartment. So, quickly I grabbed onto the ledge of a balcony on the second floor. Then, suddenly, some nutcase steps on my hand and I go plummeting to the ground. Luckily I landed on a bush, but then the nutcase drops a fridge on me! "Then St. Peter called in the third guy. He says, "Alright, picture this: You're naked, and in a refrigerator... "
There isn't much of a way to explain this, but it's pretty funny once you read through it :D
And that, is all for today!
Byeeeeeeeeee (^_^)
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