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Second poem that i have ever written

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kenworld1's Avatar kenworld1
Level 14 : Journeyman Prince
35
This was the second poem that i ever wrote... please tell me if its any good.

My love for her
does not compare
to the sun or the moon
or even the nice icy air.

My feelings are deeper
and way more true
deeper and fuller
than a true full blue moon.

Warm feelings
from way down deep
a fire from a spark
that i wish to keep.

A light breeze in the air
the wind blowing through
her beautiful black hair.

Then and there
i see a twinkle in her eye
as we look into the sky.

She grabs my hand
and i unclench my fist
then we end the night
as we had passionately kissed.

If you read this please comment and tell me if it was good or anything
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1 Update Logs

Update #1 : by kenworld1 09/28/2012 12:59:43 amSep 28th, 2012

not good

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1
01/18/2015 11:04 pm
Level 14 : Journeyman Warrior
Lostbedouin
Lostbedouin's Avatar
This is much better than your first.
1
12/01/2012 4:49 am
Level 28 : Expert Cake
Cupcake_Campbell
Cupcake_Campbell's Avatar
this made me have happy tears, diamond! ;_;
1
12/01/2012 11:18 am
Level 14 : Journeyman Prince
kenworld1
kenworld1's Avatar
thank you! i dont think i have ever heard someone say that about anythink that i have ever written... so super thank you to you
1
12/01/2012 11:20 am
Level 28 : Expert Cake
Cupcake_Campbell
Cupcake_Campbell's Avatar
hey no prob! :)
1
12/01/2012 11:43 am
Level 14 : Journeyman Prince
kenworld1
kenworld1's Avatar
well, i woke up, saw i was level 4, saw one message thing, saw your comment, so thank you for getting me to level four, because i had only one exp point away from level four, and you are the only person i saw, so double thank you! (notice i am bad with punctuation???)
1
12/01/2012 4:53 pm
Level 28 : Expert Cake
Cupcake_Campbell
Cupcake_Campbell's Avatar
heheheheheh.
1
11/10/2012 1:14 am
Level 45 : Master Pixel Puncher
XThrowDown Trisha
XThrowDown Trisha's Avatar
This is good :D
1
11/10/2012 2:41 am
Level 14 : Journeyman Prince
kenworld1
kenworld1's Avatar
thanks! :}D
1
10/18/2012 10:14 pm
Level 43 : Master Poro
DinoWolf
DinoWolf's Avatar
:[ Its okay.
1
10/18/2012 10:04 pm
Level 43 : Master Poro
DinoWolf
DinoWolf's Avatar
Eeeek. Your soo good at poems. <3 Good job Ken.
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