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Voices - A Minecraft Creepypasta.

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planetblox2000's Avatar planetblox2000
Retired Moderator
Level 42 : Master Mlem Mlem Bat
183
“gnihctaw m'I”



It’s been a week. I’m up in my bedroom. The laptop is
producing a repetitive hum. In my Minecraft my player is standing in a cave. I
can’t leave. I think I’m going to starve or die of thirst. I can’t phone: My
mobile phone run out of charge a week ago.




When did this all start?




A week ago, I wanted the game known as “Minecraft”. But
the only little problem that occurred. I didn’t want to pay for it. I was
saving up my money for a motorbike. So I did what a lot of people would
probably do in this situation. I was going to find a free version online. I
typed in “free minecraft on google. And there was a free version. Right at the
top of the search. I clicked in and pressed download.




Nothing unusual so far. I played for a bit, built a
house. Made some leather armour, expanded the house a bit, got iron armour,
eventually found some diamonds, built a farm, made some diamond armour. And
then I heard something. It sounded like a whisper. I listened again, and then
it was gone. I carried on playing, and I didn’t hear it again. But then I heard
it again. And again. And again.




“.htaed htaed htaeD”




The whispers got louder and louder and louder. It was all
nonsense though. But then I had a thought. What if the whispers were normal
words backwards. I switched on Bandicam and waited. And then, sure enough, I
recorded one of the whispers. I managed to find a program that played things
backwards. I entered the sound.




“Goodbye.”




That was the last thing I remembered before I blacked
out.



When I awoke again, I was on the floor. I jumped up and
remembered. I sprung over to my laptop. I reached my hand over to the mouse.




“On”.




It didn’t take a genius to realise what the whisper said.
“No.” I sat down on my desk chair and I continued playing. I went down into my
cave. The whispers. They got louder and louder until I could not hear anything
else. Eventually, I felt myself collapse in a heap on the floor. I wasn’t
unconscious. I just couldn’t move. My eyes were shaking, as was my entire body.
I just couldn’t move. Then…. I suddenly could.




 




I was going to go and get a drink. I stood up and walked
over to the door. I opened it. Then it was in my ear again. The whispers. I couldn’t
leave.




 




That’s how I am here, just waiting for death.




Please.




Help me.




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1
08/26/2014 3:47 pm
Level 33 : Artisan uwu
Ashfur4ever
Ashfur4ever's Avatar
nice! you have better grammar than most people on this site, but i would put a little more description in there, i likeey though c:
1
04/05/2014 10:07 am
Level 24 : Expert Ranger
SuperSwoosh
SuperSwoosh's Avatar
Nice! However, I have a few pieces of feedback I've arranged within the time of reading your blog.


To begin with, I strongly suggest that you alter the background of the: 'Diamond, favourite, and subscribe', to a transparent image, that fits nicely with the blog, in order to make it more appealing. 
Don't get more wrong, it's nice, however, a plain sheet of white inserted right below your blog doesn't really suit what the rest of the writing suggests, I also reccomend you place it a little futher down for readers to comprehend what is going on amongst the account, as the diamond and heart come close to almost entirely killing the tension you've set up throughout the story.
It's not really neccessary, and probably won't have much effect, but I would be happy if these were taken into consideration.
Overall, nice creepypasta, 8/10- If you're planning to continue, I suggest you use a little more depth of story, as it seemed a little bland at times, however, if you're going more for the mysterious aspect of it, then it's fine, I'm looking foward to more of these! Continue! :D
1
03/20/2014 4:21 am
Level 26 : Expert Architect
LostPixels
LostPixels's Avatar
Not that Scary ://
1
03/22/2014 2:10 pm
Level 42 : Master Mlem Mlem Bat
planetblox2000
planetblox2000's Avatar
Thank you for your "feedback", if it can be called that.
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