GammaRose

These past few years have been a real test on my mental fortitude. I'm not doing well, but no one would be in my current circumstance.

It's a very cringe way to start off this little post to the void of the internet for anyone to see but I want to get a weird thought off my mind.

Roleplay, especially on minecraft, has been a medium and place where I've developed and grown up on. I never put too much thought into what it is I uploaded on this place, but I always did things for the different communities that I was involved in. People forget, and history will always forget the little or large things that you do even if you want to leave a mark on the world. No matter how hard I tried as a kid to have a memorable moment with people, I've come to accept- and grew comfortable, that it'll all be forgotten anyways; so who cares what occurs in the moment?

I never expected people to recognize me, years later, for any work I've published on PMC. But every now and then, the tik-tok algorithm sends it my way, different people in different spaces using my work. Or sometimes, I'll join a new place, and I have people who recognize me from my minecraft gamer-tag.

It's not bad, but I can't help but flinch (lol). It's nice (lovely in fact) to hear from different people who have used my old skinning templates to help get a start on a new hobby. I also love seeing the progress that they've made over the years with art and skins. Yet it's made me realize how harsh the past few years have really been on me and my confidence-- that I'll get lambasted for uploading instead of keeping it hidden.

Recent encounters with a few clients (art comms) sometimes makes me worried that I'm not projecting myself as positively as I want. I have to work on improving my poker-face from here moving forward. Everything has been just a little sad, but it gives me some peace if my very old projects have served some use to some people. Maybe, who knows, I might do it again or update what's already out there :shrug:



- Edit: I also forgot I had PMC