In 1798 Nagasaki, Japan, a fish salesman by the name of Jo "Kimono Jo" Teriyaki was born.
At the age of fifteen, Jo was given two options by his father, Kimono Mo: Either Jo would carry on the family business of owning and operating a small fish market near the Dutch island of Dejima, or take his own life. Facing this hard decision, Jo eventually decided to take up the family business.
Although it was a successful business under his command for the fist forty years, it eventually failed due to the rising popularity of Dutch foods. Jo had to quick come up with a plan to save his business, or he would be doomed.
Late one summer afternoon, Jo came up with a plan. A fantastic, musical plan.
Jo leapt to his feet, stood on top of an overturned fish basket, gathered around the people of Nagasaki, and began to belt out a fear-mongering song that would be recorded, remembered, and enjoyed by the Japanese people for centuries:
Jo:
"Weeeell, you got trouble my friends
Right here
I say trouble right here in Nagasaki.
Why sure I'm a Dutch partner

Certainly mighty proud I say

I'm always mighty proud to say it.
I consider that the hours I spend
With a Dutchman are golden.
Help you cultivate horse sense
And a cool head and a keen eye.
Did ya ever take and try to pick
A cherry-red tulip for yourself
Near a two-story wood windmill?

Ya got trouble, folks!

Right here in Nagasaki.
Trouble with a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "D" and that stands for Dutch!
Now, I know all you folks are the right kinda people.
I'm gonna be perfectly frank.
Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes
On while they're loafin' around on Dejima?
They're cheatin' out elders, cheatin' out women,
cheatin' out nice young men like downright fiends!
And braggin' all about
How they're gonna cover up a unfair trade with Tulips.
One fine night, they leave their island,
Headin' for the hall at Nagasaki!
Libertine men and Scarlet women!
And Sweelinck, shameless music
That'll grab Dutchmen and your daughter
With the arms of a jungle
Animal instinct!
Mass-steria!
Friends, the Dutchman's trade is the Oni's fish bait!

TownsPeople:
Trouble, oh we got trouble,
Right here in Nagasaki!
With a capital "T"
That rhymes with "D"
And that stands for Dutch,
(That stands for Dutch.)
We've surely got trouble!
Right here in Nagasaki
Right here!
Gotta figure out a way
To make sure that Dutch trade ain't our crutch!
Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...

Jo:
People of Nagasaki!
Heed that warning before it's too late!
Watch for the tell-tale sign of corruption!
The minute your son leaves the house,
Does he retie his sash below the chest?
Is there a red tulip in his hair knot?
A small flintlock hidden under the rice mat?
Is he startingZedekunst?
Are certain words creeping into his conversation?
Words like, like 'koel?"
And 'dus is je vader?"
Well, if so my friends,
Ya got trouble,
Right here in Nagasaki!
With a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "D"
And that stands for Dutch.
We've surely got trouble!
Right here in Nagaski!
Remember Buddha, spirit gates and the forest Kami!
Oh, we've got trouble.
We're in terrible, terrible trouble.
That trade with the Netherlands-hailing man is the town's crutch!
Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble!
With a "T"! Gotta rhyme it with "D"!
And that stands for Dutch!!!

Trade with Dutch ended shortly after Jo's musical revue.
Business in Jo's fish market soon began to boom, and Jo became an old rich scoundrel.

However, five years later, Jo died in a horrible fishing accident when he tried to slap his wife with a tuna on his fishing boat, fell overboard, and drowned.

However, Kimono Jo's legacy is never forgotten.