*daft punk voice* EMOTIOOOOOOON~

Hello everyone who reads this, the name is Hannah, or Jupiter, and today I'm going to tell you about my journey of Gender Dysphoria and my emotions because of this.

CAUTION! MY STORY MENTIONS SOME THINGS THAT MIGHT TRIGGER YOU. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY DEPRESSION AND THINGS THAT COME WITH IT, PLEASE DO NOT READ IT.

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The first 'emotion' (if you want to count it as an emotion) I encountered on my journey was confusion. At first, I felt like a girl, but I wasn't interested in girly things. I was interested in mud, trucks, wrestling, tattoos, boy things. By the time I hit 6th grade (and puberty) I was so confused. Was I meant to be born a boy?  Why was I born a girl? Why am I not like the other girls? Why do I easily become friends with guys, but extremely struggle with making friends that are girls?

This confusion led to the next emotion, sadness. I cried at my reflection every time I looked in the mirror. I cried every night before I fell asleep. Why was this happening to me? Why am I so confused on whether I'm a boy or a girl?

This sadness then lead to the next emotion, depression. I felt like I was a failure at life, like I wasn't meant to be born at all because I felt like I was born in the wrong gender. I felt like I had chains hanging off of me like Jacob Marley with every move I took. At this point in life, I have written various tear-stained suicide notes, stating how I felt like I was meant to be a boy and not a girl. I kept a knife under my bed, that sat there and glistened under my rooms light, waiting for me to pick it up and ultimately end it.

I expressed this feeling of depression and confusion to one of my few friends that are female. Her mom was a therapist, and worked at a place filled with many therapists, ranging from people who specalized in helping kids with their parents divorcing, to therapists who helped people like me. I started to feel a little better after that, knowing I had someone who cared.

I then went into deep research. It turns out what I had is called 'gender dysphoria' or 'gender identity disorder'. According to Google "gender identity disorder is a conflict between a person's physical gender and the gender he or she identifies as. For example, a person identified as a boy may actually feel and act like a girl. The person is very uncomfortable with the gender they were born". I was relieved knowing I wasn't the only person in the world that had this issue, since it is a medical condition.

After a while, I expressed this feeling of dysphoria to my parents. They weren't happy about it, being the Christian conservatives they were, but at least they let me visit the therapist.

At the therapist, she then officially diagnosed me with gender identity disorder. I could not express to her how happy I felt, knowing that feeling like a boy when you're a girl is totally okay. I sat there and cried tears of joy for at least 5 minutes. After a few visits to her, I started feeling less depressed. I had more female friends, and I felt like I wasn't chained down anymore.

Now, I am currently on hormones and I'm not scheduled for a surgery in a LONG time, but at least I know I'm happier.

Gender Dysphoria is seriously an emotional rollercoaster, it's not even funny.

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Originally I was going to do myself, but then I decided I needed another Steam Powered Giraffe themed skin. :P The skin is inspired by the beautiful Miss Isabella Bunny Bennett (formerly Christopher Bennett), a fellow transgendered person and the person behind the automaton 'Rabbit' from SPG. The skin is wearing the two different outfits of Rabbit.

If you like the skin, please diamond and favorite to help my chances in the finals! <3

And if this doesn't fit the theme, I'm really sorry! I just wanted to do something I know someone else wouldn't do.

Christopher Bennett (male) Outfit Reference
Isabella Bunny Bennett (female) Outfit Reference (minus the leather jacket and bolt hairpiece)