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-Invisible-

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starcatcher77's Avatar starcatcher77
Level 16 : Journeyman Architect
15
=============Invisible==============
So people seemed to like my previous story.
So I thought I'd write another, this one is a little more deep.
And sad to an extent. So sit back and prepare for me to
abuse your emotions!
=============The Story=============
Hello, my name is Matthew. This is my story, but no one will care. Because I'm invisible.
When I was two, my mother had another child. She forgot me and only tended to my
younger brother. I was neglected for 3 years more until I was put in the Foster Care
System. Family after family threw me out, I couldn't love anyone because I knew
I would just be thrown out. I started to think I was invisible. Eventually I found a
home, my new parents were old and frail and never had a child before.
They sent me to the local school, there again I was invisible. People didn't see me
and sat down on me, my teacher ignored me when I raised my hand. If someone did notice
me it was to bully me. I felt invisible, like no one cared. My life was miserable, life continued as usual.
I was bullied and ignored. I tried to tell my teacher about the bullying but as usual he didn't listen.
I told the principal and he told the teacher to listen to me. He did but he didn't do anything about it,
He simply said that it was "too bad". I got a severe case of depression but my parents thought I was trying to get out of school and wouldn't take me to a doctor. I remained depressed and lived life miserable. But things only got worse from there. My father died in a
car accident, and my mother contracted Alzheimer's Disorder. With no
one to help her she fell and died of brain damage. No one knew I even existed,
I was left in the attic forever. Here I write this, I will die of starvation within hours.
I will die alone, abandoned, invisible.
The End
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1
02/23/2015 9:19 pm
Level 2 : Apprentice Zombie
Remeber
Remeber's Avatar
Why did't this dude leave the attic? I mean jezz. if your smart enough to know how Alzheimer's Disorder is spelled.
1
02/24/2015 9:00 am
Level 16 : Journeyman Architect
starcatcher77
starcatcher77's Avatar
Good point, I'm actually dislexic  which Meens  it's hard for me to spell.
Good point though. thanks!
1
02/18/2015 8:44 pm
Level 3 : Apprentice Scribe
Mail Order Cowboy
Mail Order Cowboy's Avatar
So is this intended to teach the reader a lesson, or to make the world a better place perhaps? I get the impression that you just wanted to create an empotional appeal with your writing.
1
02/19/2015 6:00 am
Level 16 : Journeyman Architect
starcatcher77
starcatcher77's Avatar
It was ment for both things, to make the world a better place and to create emotional appeal.
Neglect is a problem that is rapidly getting worse, and I thought even my little voice could help.
1
02/19/2015 5:46 pm
Level 3 : Apprentice Scribe
Mail Order Cowboy
Mail Order Cowboy's Avatar
I personally found it too extreme to make me think of neglect in a new way. If it was more believable, with more subtle situations and examples, it would be much better. It would definitely seem more mature.
1
02/19/2015 6:39 pm
Level 16 : Journeyman Architect
starcatcher77
starcatcher77's Avatar
Thanks for the feedback, it really helps. I'll keep it in mind while I'm writing my next piece.
1
02/18/2015 8:41 pm
Level 31 : Artisan Architect
Mikeyhockey
Mikeyhockey's Avatar
Ha, I didn't actually think you were gonna write a creepypasta. Anyways, great story star, keep it up!
1
02/19/2015 5:57 am
Level 16 : Journeyman Architect
starcatcher77
starcatcher77's Avatar
Technically it isn't a creepy pasta, it's just a story about neglect.
1
02/19/2015 5:58 am
Level 16 : Journeyman Architect
starcatcher77
starcatcher77's Avatar
But my story Teacher is certainly a creepypasta
1
02/18/2015 7:52 pm
Level 37 : Artisan Network
xSnowToast
xSnowToast's Avatar
;-; So. Sad. Makes me want to go hug something o-o
Still, good story.
Diamond for you <3
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