The Secrets of a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwhich - A Looti Tale
The pure richness of this classic combo has inspired hundreds of chip and cake flavors across the world. But why would such a simple, innocent sandwich be considered at all by the Judges of the World? It has never been sponsored by the Earl of Sandwhich, so why does it compete with Reuben and BLT? I believe in solely one theory. The Mandrill Potentate.


     As Tick-Tock-The-Clock said at birth, "time is best spent eating jelly..." This was the same day he lost to the human race and could never guide the Mandrills again.

     Tim went by, (but of course the Mandrills didn't know that) and a new power had raised to the throne. He had defeated the Death Adder who had constantly captured the young at dusk. Calling himself the "Aurak-Tong-Ze," he ordered the court to be made up of only older Mandrills. The reason was he was taught day and night by an elder, and felt that their clan would improve if wise ones helped to rule. Aurak-Tong-Ze had one flaw however-he loved jelly too much. But not just any jelly, but strawberry jelly. Yes, very hard to come by in Congo. He forced his servants to travel far and wide to trade Custom Tootpicks for strawberries.

     As time went by, he started to study the Ancients' Library. The Ancients often wrote in scripts about how Tick-Tock-The-Clock had a special craving as well: Peanut Mash. He researched thouroughly into the idea of a Peanut. He heard via Birdie that a man named George Washington Carver had figured out a way to produce better Peanut Mash, or Peanut Butter.

     Even though he craved Starwberry Jelly, he was greatly intrigued by Peanut Butter. After a two-month long period of deliberation. he decide to travel to the Americas. Leaving his Jelly Jars in charge, he went away in a moment. Even with his great speed, it took him nearly two days! A great embarrassment to the Mandrills of Congo. He eventually found the Carver at Simpson College, dilligently studying peanut oils. The Carver was terrified, as who wouldn't be by his glorious buttocks. He snatched up the Carver and all the peanuts he could find. In an even longer time period, he rushed back to Congo in a matter of four days.

     Whence he finally arrived back home, he found his kingdom to be prospering under the Jelly Jars' invention of the lightning rod. Beside the point, the Carver was welcomed into the Mandrills' home with more than what the Americans gave him. Fascinated by the Mandrills, (as who wouldn't be) he swiftly taught them the secrets needed to know in order to grow a Peanut.

     When fall arrived, the Mandrills harvested every last Peanut and used their great strength to mash every peanut down. The Carver gave them the materials and the know-how to make a Peanut Paste, and soon the kingdom was overwhelmed by Peanut Butter. As in all first-tastings, the ruler should taste first to check for poison. Aurak-Tong-Ze nervously placed his toungue to his Peanut Butter dipped appendix and slowly swallowed the butter. Ever so surprisingly, the Potentate was so disgusted that a burst of lightning came down from the sky. The bolt struck the rod and hit the Jars. The Jelly splattered all over the king, but of course he didn't mind. He licked his body clean of the gooey substance, but had tasted quite peculiar, and also quite tasty. But of course, it was the combination of Peanut Butter and Jelly! The disgust storm cleared and rays of bright reds, purples, and hazels glowed down from the sky. Behold the Answer!


*This article was composed of almost pure fiction. Gearoge Washington Carver did in fact found Simpson College, but did not help any Mandrills. The True Mandrill way to eat Peanut Butter and Jelly is without bread. Hope you guys enjoyed, and remember to Diamond, Favorite, and Subscribe!