Carl the Creeper was just walkin' down the isle of the supermarket, when all of the sudden, he looked up and it happened.
The sun had taken a break from beating down upon the Earth for the day.
This allowed his brain to wander to another level of thought. It wasn't anything in particular. He had noticed something earlier. He stopped and wondered for a moment, and then it hit him.
"He's been watching me." Carl felt a slight nudge. "Yes, I see. I have a good mind to unplug that mother down there. She doesn't like it when I get in her way." Carl removed the connector, and unplugged the mother.
He made his way over to the checkout counter, where the old man had remained. He was watching Carl as he watched him. Then, to Carl's surprise, he came over to Carl. He put his arm around Carl's shoulder, and asked, "What's your name?" Carl looked at the old man, and told him his name. Carl said, "Do you know where I can find a compass?" The old man said, "Of course I do. I can help you." The old man stood up and reached under the counter, grabbing a compass. "Here, take this one. It's not as fancy as the one in your pack, but it will be much more comfortable to hold." Carl looked at the old man. "Why, thank you very much."
This is when Carl realized, "Wait, why do I even need a compass in the first place? All I was gonna get was some gunpowder and 64 diamond blocks. Oh well, let's see what happens now." Thus, Carl set out on his grand adventure to find the magical golden diamond.
Carl started his journey in the outskirts of the desert. He trekked through a landscape of sand dunes and sandstorms. As Carl passed a restaurant, a man wearing a "Yes, he is looking for the golden diamond" T-shirt walked out. The man laughed and said, "Now, here's my question. Have you ever heard of a place called "Riftwood?" Carl said, "Not really." The man said, "I thought so. It's down on the island of Rumplin.
In the middle of a lava field. It's a good place to hole up if you need to. This island is no ordinary island, folks. This island is the land of the "Don't Care." They are rude. They are mean. And they are greedy. But they have big T-shirts." The old man went on to explain the key to success on Rumplin was the stone. The golden diamond. Carl had heard of the diamond. It was the reason they had sent him to that internet cafe. The reason he had gone out into the wilderness with his 34 ranged rifle.
But what about the argument with the old man? What about that warm, fuzzy feeling that was going on in his chest? Why had the old man been so nice to him? Carl began to get nervous as he pondered these thoughts. He decided he needed to see for himself.
Carl decided to take his 35 ranged rifle, and go find the island. He packed up his gear, and set out. The beginning of his journey was filled with hot sand, dry heat, and a bad case of the wild id. Carl's feet started to hurt, as did his back. His hands hurt, his shoulders hurt. He thought of the children in the village on Rummlin. He thought of the woman that ran the cafe. He thought of the hundreds of gold doubloons that would be waiting for him at the end of this journey.
Carl continued his journey. The sun kept sinking lower and lower in the sky. In time, the sun had almost set completely, and he thought it best to rest. As he rested in the shade of a giant rock, he thought about his many problems. Not only did he have his rapidly depleting self-confidence to worry about, he also had to think of-
"The temple of the Golden Diamond is literally right behind me. ... But it's SOOOOOOOOOO FAAAAR AWAAAAAAAAY. IF ONLY THERE WAS SOMETHING SO I CAN GET TO WHERE I NEED WITHOUT MOVING MYSELF." Suddenly, a rich man with an army of advertisement women appeared.
He said, "Well now you can, with the brand-new Apple Car! It's like an ordinary car, but with iOS in hand all the time! It's called iVehicOS. And there are plenty more new features and awesome features that you can download. And if you're feeling left out because you didn't get one, all you need to do is flash your mobile device, and you'll be upgraded! It even comes with the free iBox wireless charger, all for only $799!"
Carl was skeptical, but it wasn't like he could simply walk to the temple by taking 4 steps to the left. In fact, Carl and the rich advertising army were so hyped they'd completely forgotten about the diamond and went on all sorts of wacky adventures within the course of 1/2 a decade. It was the life. What could have possibly go wrong?
"Oh, no," said Carl. "Now the narrator had the audacity to ask "What could have possibly go wrong?", something's about to go TOTALLY WROOOOOOOOoooong..." Carl had been creep-napped by a gazillion parrots to take him to the golden diamond. "Ooh, don't mind if I do."
Thus Carl became the richest mob in all of Minecraft. He even had the funny little parrots that occasionally appeared on his world speak with his precious golden doubloons, which were also said to possess immense mystic powers. And of course the diamond itself. But then the price for said diamond increased to over 16,000 doubloons. Carl was too rich for his own good, so he decided to sell the diamond. The money was flowing so freely, it soon gave out and was replaced by a small moonstone that kept crashing into other rocks in the world. Carl finally had the fabled "Golden Diamond." Unfortunately, before he could even enjoy it, the diamond soon fell from its pedestal, and collapsed in on itself. It was ruined. It was officially a katabond rock.
An immense darkness surrounded the ruin. It seemed the last word of the land was just a normal rock. No more magical, mystical, incredible gold doubloons, no more cure for being depressed. Carl's only ray of hope, was that the corpse of the diamond itself may still be there somewhere. "And it's right here, under this safe, you dumb narrator," said Carl. "That was only a cheap replica made with real golden diamond for only infinity minecoins."

TE FIN + MEME OF THE DAY