Alleletra's Diary -1984
"Nonata"

We've all been wondering about how and why Nonata is even considered to be one of us. She can't open up new timelines, create pocket dimensions, or reincarnated herself like the rest of us. I'm not even sure if she can enter or interact with the mortal world without assistance from a higher-up. She is able to split timelines, but it seems she can only split already split timelines, so she's not even doing anything big. She lacks any other specialty, unlike the rest of us, who are dual-typed.We've brushed it off, saying that Nonata being the only Timeline Goddess with pure timeline power makes her special, but in reality, she's no more powerful that our peons, who are essentially mortals who have been given honorary divine titles in order to serve other gods and souls in the divine realm.

She is a god in title only.

And, no one has looked further. We mock her for thinking she is truly one of us, but, I was the only one to look into why she's here. In an instant, it all came back to me. We tell her she's not a real God because it's true. Nonata is a peon, and it's my fault.
I killed her, and altered things to hide it.

Nonata doesn't know.
---
I don't remember the exact year. I think it was in the middle ages, or in an alternative timeline where society was at that point in development. It was in this mortal incarnation, that I suffered direct consequences... that I watched someone I cared for... fall victim to my actions.
And yet, I have not changed. Will I ever be able to see human morals? That line that says when I've gone too far? Every time, I've leaped far over that line... as if it were never there to begin with.

I was an outcast, reincarnated by my own decision, with no divine wisdom. I was a completely blank slate this time around, save my curiosity for the word.
I had my own place, where I experimented on different things. Nothing too complex, as the age lacked that technology. I was a biochemist. I created medicines using diluted strands of virusesto try and cure disease, but my community feared me for it. I would infect animals, and use my medicines to try and cure them.

It almost never worked, and all my experiments failed.I tried playing God as a mortal, toying with life and death.
Once again, a failure.

I eventually decided to switch things up, and move on to humans.One day, I noticed an orphan girl hanging around my property. I asked her if she had a place to stay, and she didn't, so I offered to let her stay with me under the condition that she helped me around the house, and with my experiments.
In hindsight, I was kind of surprised that she trusted me.
Things went fine from there, until one night, tragedy struck.A thick layer of fog covered the world. Looking from my watchtower, I could see pure white, barely broken by the dim glow of a street lantern.

I went to my lab with the girl. We were testing out elixirs meant to temporarily enhance one's physique, and from what I saw on the animals I tested this particular elixir on, there wasn't Ant harmful effects. I gave the girl a shot of the potion so that I could ask her how it made her feel, and she complied.---
"I want to go outside"I led her out onto the cobblestone streets, torch in hand. We stepped out into the white, empty, void which was the village.

The world, at that moment, was devoid of life.

"I feel... really strange... what's happening to me?"

The girl couldn't quite describe what was going on, but she seemed very tired, so I brought her back to the house.
She had come down with a fever, so I used natural remedies and got her to bed. I was afraid that it was a side effect of my elixir, as she was in perfect condition leading up to that point.The next day, her condition hadn't improved, and the fog hadn't cleared. Her health was declining quickly, far quicker than I could create a medicine to cure her. Instead, I tried to help without medication.

"Professor... I'm thirsty... can I please have one more cup of tea...?"

I went to prepare some herbal tea, and when I got back up to her room, the poor girl had passed.
Mary Ralgid, age 13, had died.She had died because of me.

----

In the days following Mary's death, I worked tirelessly trying to resurrect her, to no avail. Knowing that i couldn't succeed, I ran an autopsy on her to look for answers but I couldn't shake off the guilt.
This child trusted me with her safety, and I let her down. I killed her. It was my fault.
My mind declined, but I still wondered if it was really my elixir that killed the young girl, so I went to the local prison, and negotiated with the guards to let me experiment on death row criminals set to be executed within a week.
Who cares what happens to them?
I gave the prisoners a freshly brewed batch of mg elixir, and like Mary, they were dead within three days. I kept experimenting on humans, but I never saw the intended effects. One person list their vision, another went deaf. Overall, around 20 people willingly drank my elixirs, knowing that even I didn't know what they did, and all of them were harmed.
I cried and cried for nights.Mary wasn't enough. I had to harm more people.
One night, just as foggy as the night Mary died, thee was a knock at my door.
The townsfolk, angry abd armed with farming tools and fire.
"Outside, now."
I was led to a valley in the outskirts of town, where the mob angerly beat me, brutally assaulting me for what I had done.
It was a bloodbath.
---
I woke up in the Divine Realm, still in my bloodied guise. That's how it always was when I died. It wasn't until a few days passed that I'd return to my regular appearance.This time was particularly bad.
I felt hung over, and my whole body hurt.
Yet, I needed to find Mary.
--
By the time I found the girl in the Heavens, I had returned to my Divine form. She did not recognize me as I was, but I recognized her in the spot. I seized my moment, and asked her if she cared for a cup of tea.I ended up blocking her memory, and turning her into a peon, a Timeline Goddesses in title only.A super strong amnesia, brought about by a god, is hard to break through. Often times, the God who placed it needs to remove the curse manually.But, i wouldn't. I wrote my narrative from my recebt incarnation, and blocked my own memory of the whole life...

---

I told the girl that her name was Nonata, and that I didn't know where she came from.That part was true to an extent, as I had forced myself to forget.
When the other Timeline Goddesses saw Nonata, they went along, acting as if she were here all along.They asked me about her in private, saying that she had only showed up after I finished my last reincarnation, and if there was any correlation.
I couldn't answer that.
If I could, I wouldn't be able to carry that guilt with me for the rest of eternity...

---

Alleletra, goddess of timelines and genetics