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!!YOU CAN READ PART 2 HERE!!
help i've never posted a blog before how does this work-
So, funny story. I thought I might get 2 or 3 shares, but no, PMC wants to make me actually work for my content and you guys shared it 16 times. I had to stop writing at 5 pages though because people have a short attention span. There might be a part 2 within the next 2 months (procrastination at it's finest).
People whose ideas I used in this chapter: Bubblez705, EccentricEremite, ajthepeach, Panda_Tyger, GalaxyCat24, MiniMutant, and part of Cirxett's idea. I will use more of the ideas in future parts.
Story time!
Zinnia Barnett stood in front of her brand new house. She bought it a couple months ago and had just finished moving all of her things in. Her neighborhood looked very promising (except for the graffiti on the gate leading in that warned of chaos). It was an average American suburban neighborhood, with houses and neat lawns lining both sides of the street.
Zinnia’s neighbors were all outside, some walking down the road, some working in their gardens. She looked around. Perhaps it would be a good idea to meet some of her new neighbors.
She walked over towards her left-hand neighbor. “Hello there!” Zinnia said enthusiastically. She waved at him. The man turned towards her.
“Hai! I’m Jerry McJerrison. I assume you are the new owner of the house?” he said. Suddenly, one of his arms inflated to the diameter of a 2-liter soda bottle. “Dang it, arm.”
Zinnia jumped back in surprise. “What?!?” she gasped, goggling at the large arm.
“My limbs sometimes inflate randomly,” he explained. “Careful not to step in the garden bed.” He picked up a watering can with his normal arm. Jerry watered a beautiful bush.
“Huh,” Zinnia nodded slowly. Maybe it was a rare medical condition or something. “Anyways… nice meeting you Jerry!”
“It was nice to meet you too. Congrats on your position on the Homeowners Association by the way!” he said, tipping his wide-brimmed hat while his right arm slowly deflated.
“Goodby- wait… what did you just say about the HOA?” Zinnia said. A position on the HOA? She didn’t sign up for that….
“Oh, it’s in your housing contract. Section 4, Paragraph 13, Sentence 5. ‘You are required to fill a position on the HOA of your choosing, or in the case that there is only one position open, that position.’ The only position open right now is Neighborhood Mediator. You are supposed to resolve arguments between neighbors.” Jerry McJerrison began to trim the bushes. “Now shoo, I need to focus on my beautiful bushes.”
Zinnia hesitantly left. She should double-check the contract. Surely, surely, Jerry was bluffing? She grabbed out her phone and opened up her housing contract. There it was, exactly where Jerry had said. The dreaded position-filling clause. How did she miss it?
The next evening, Zinnia was sitting out on her front lawn enjoying a cup of coffee when a horde of neighbors walked past. One of them called out to her “C’mon! We’re going to the HOA meeting! Join us.” Zinnia spat out her coffee. An HOA meeting? Regretfully, she put down the drink and joined the mob. It wouldn’t look good if she missed her first meeting.
The group neared a large building on one end of the neighborhood, near the gate. It was made of brick and had a slanted metal roof. As the group of people entered the building, Zinnia’s long auburn hair caught on something. It was a small lever situated on one of the walls. She quickly pulled her hair off of it and sat down on one of the chairs.
The doors closed and someone stood up. “Hello. Welcome to this public HOA meeting!” the person said. “I am the HOA leader. And not an alien who has no idea what he is doing. I am not pretending to be the actual HOA leader, because I am the actual HOA leader.” He said convincingly. Everyone nodded and clapped.
“Anyways, we are starting today’s meeting off by welcoming our new HOA member, Zinnia Barnett!” Zinnia stood up and waved to the crowd. “She is the new Neighborhood Mediator. As you all know, the last mediator, Ken, betrayed us and became a therapist,” HOA leader said grandly. He gestured to calm the crowd.
“If anyone has any issues, please take it up with her. Right now she will be in the side room awaiting problems to solve,” he stated. The HOA leader – totally not an alien – grabbed her shoulder and pushed her in the direction of a door.
Zinnia walked through it and sat down on a folding chair. There was a desk and a second chair in front of her. It kind of looked like a police interview room. Immediately, a knock on the door indicated that someone would be coming inside.
So soon? Perhaps everyone wanted to get their problems out of the way early on in the meeting. Two people came inside, a blond man and a tall woman. The blond man sat down in the chair. “Morning, I’m Marvin,” the man said confidently. Wasn’t it the evening?
The tall woman blinked before beginning to speak, “Hello. My husband here has been cursed by the wizard down the street to only speak in words containing the letter ‘m’.” Marvin looked down in shame.
“Mhm,” he said. Wait a moment… magic isn’t real. Is this some sort of joke? Zinnia looked at the woman in confusion.
“But… wizards don’t exist. Are you playing a prank on me?” she said, perplexed.
“Wizards are real!” the wife argued. “Surely there’s something you can do to help us?” Zinnia shook her head.
“Please come back to me with a real problem,” she said. Zinnia pointed towards the door. “I have more people waiting for me.”
The lady nodded sadly and grabbed Marvin’s hand, leading him out the door. Soon enough, another pair of people came into the room.
An old lady with a witch hat and a little boy in a panda onesie sat down in the chair, the little boy on the lady’s lap. “Hello,” the woman said. “I’m Miss Adalaide and this is my grandson, Little Leo. He lost his stuffed panda Chris and can’t find him again.” Little Leo’s face scrunched up sadly.
“How can I help you find the lost panda?” Zinnia said. Surely this was the last of the absurd issues.
“Well, I’ve used my crystal ball to locate him next to a stream surrounded by bushes, but I’m not sure exactly where that is.” Adelaide said. Little Leo looked even sadder than before, and Adelaide hugged him close. Crystal ball? Maybe Adelaide was lying to comfort Little Leo.
“Have you tried following the stream running behind the neighborhood? At least… I think there’s a stream there. I heard it when I was trying to sleep last night,” Zinnia suggested.
Little Leo lit up. “I don’t tink Gwamma looked dhere,” he said. Adelaide nodded.
“I’ll look there tomorrow. Thank you for your help,” she said. Adelaide stood up and carried Leo out of the room.
One final knock on the door and the last of the neighbors walked in. It was an old man with a long white beard and a crooked wizard’s hat, an old woman who resembled an inflatable tube-woman, and a doctor. The old woman took the chair.
“Hello, my name is Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tubewoman, this is my ex-husband Mr. Maxia, and my fiancé, Mr. Myers (yes, he is my doctor),” she said.
Zinnia nodded. “So, what is your problem, Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tubewoman?” Wow, that name was a mouthful. Zinnia set her hands on the desk.
“Two weeks ago, Mr. Maxia pushed me off of a cliff. He claimed it was for an experiment. I barely survived and was in a coma for a week.” She said seriously. Mr. Myers nodded in confirmation and Mr. Maxia leaned on his cane even more.
“Why hasn’t she taken you to court yet?” Zinnia asked.
“She can’t take me to court because I’m a wizard! Wizards are very powerful in the court room, especially ones that went to lawyer college,” Mr. Maxia cackled. Zinnia felt disturbed.
“That’s… alarming. What caused you to push Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tubewoman off of a cliff, Mr. Maxia?” she asked.
Mr. Maxia grinned and the doctor grimaced. “Part of an ongoing plan of mine… I can’t reveal it yet because that would spoil the surprise.” Again, Mr. Maxia laughed hysterically.
Zinnia pulled away from the table a little bit, moving away from the crazy man. “Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tubewoman, I would recommend taking this man to court and finding a good lawyer,” she said. Wait… was Mr. Maxia the wizard that had cursed Marvin?
Mr. Maxia frowned. “Yeah… well I will win in court! And then we can remarry and be happy again! I still love you, Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tubewoman!” he screamed. Mr. Maxia ran out the door.
Zinnia stood up and ran after him. She skidded to a stop and turned to see Mr. Maxia standing next to the lever. “Soon, you will all see my true power!” he yelled to the crowd. “I have almost finished my Retro-Mutagen! Soon you will all pay! But first, a small parting gift. Enjoy the hour-long scrunchie rain!” Mr. Maxia pulled the lever and dissolved into smoke. Zinnia looked out the window of the building. It was raining scrunchies outside. Maybe magic is real after all.
Hope you enjoyed!
help i've never posted a blog before how does this work-
So, funny story. I thought I might get 2 or 3 shares, but no, PMC wants to make me actually work for my content and you guys shared it 16 times. I had to stop writing at 5 pages though because people have a short attention span. There might be a part 2 within the next 2 months (procrastination at it's finest).
People whose ideas I used in this chapter: Bubblez705, EccentricEremite, ajthepeach, Panda_Tyger, GalaxyCat24, MiniMutant, and part of Cirxett's idea. I will use more of the ideas in future parts.
Story time!
Zinnia Barnett stood in front of her brand new house. She bought it a couple months ago and had just finished moving all of her things in. Her neighborhood looked very promising (except for the graffiti on the gate leading in that warned of chaos). It was an average American suburban neighborhood, with houses and neat lawns lining both sides of the street.
Zinnia’s neighbors were all outside, some walking down the road, some working in their gardens. She looked around. Perhaps it would be a good idea to meet some of her new neighbors.
She walked over towards her left-hand neighbor. “Hello there!” Zinnia said enthusiastically. She waved at him. The man turned towards her.
“Hai! I’m Jerry McJerrison. I assume you are the new owner of the house?” he said. Suddenly, one of his arms inflated to the diameter of a 2-liter soda bottle. “Dang it, arm.”
Zinnia jumped back in surprise. “What?!?” she gasped, goggling at the large arm.
“My limbs sometimes inflate randomly,” he explained. “Careful not to step in the garden bed.” He picked up a watering can with his normal arm. Jerry watered a beautiful bush.
“Huh,” Zinnia nodded slowly. Maybe it was a rare medical condition or something. “Anyways… nice meeting you Jerry!”
“It was nice to meet you too. Congrats on your position on the Homeowners Association by the way!” he said, tipping his wide-brimmed hat while his right arm slowly deflated.
“Goodby- wait… what did you just say about the HOA?” Zinnia said. A position on the HOA? She didn’t sign up for that….
“Oh, it’s in your housing contract. Section 4, Paragraph 13, Sentence 5. ‘You are required to fill a position on the HOA of your choosing, or in the case that there is only one position open, that position.’ The only position open right now is Neighborhood Mediator. You are supposed to resolve arguments between neighbors.” Jerry McJerrison began to trim the bushes. “Now shoo, I need to focus on my beautiful bushes.”
Zinnia hesitantly left. She should double-check the contract. Surely, surely, Jerry was bluffing? She grabbed out her phone and opened up her housing contract. There it was, exactly where Jerry had said. The dreaded position-filling clause. How did she miss it?
The next evening, Zinnia was sitting out on her front lawn enjoying a cup of coffee when a horde of neighbors walked past. One of them called out to her “C’mon! We’re going to the HOA meeting! Join us.” Zinnia spat out her coffee. An HOA meeting? Regretfully, she put down the drink and joined the mob. It wouldn’t look good if she missed her first meeting.
The group neared a large building on one end of the neighborhood, near the gate. It was made of brick and had a slanted metal roof. As the group of people entered the building, Zinnia’s long auburn hair caught on something. It was a small lever situated on one of the walls. She quickly pulled her hair off of it and sat down on one of the chairs.
The doors closed and someone stood up. “Hello. Welcome to this public HOA meeting!” the person said. “I am the HOA leader. And not an alien who has no idea what he is doing. I am not pretending to be the actual HOA leader, because I am the actual HOA leader.” He said convincingly. Everyone nodded and clapped.
“Anyways, we are starting today’s meeting off by welcoming our new HOA member, Zinnia Barnett!” Zinnia stood up and waved to the crowd. “She is the new Neighborhood Mediator. As you all know, the last mediator, Ken, betrayed us and became a therapist,” HOA leader said grandly. He gestured to calm the crowd.
“If anyone has any issues, please take it up with her. Right now she will be in the side room awaiting problems to solve,” he stated. The HOA leader – totally not an alien – grabbed her shoulder and pushed her in the direction of a door.
Zinnia walked through it and sat down on a folding chair. There was a desk and a second chair in front of her. It kind of looked like a police interview room. Immediately, a knock on the door indicated that someone would be coming inside.
So soon? Perhaps everyone wanted to get their problems out of the way early on in the meeting. Two people came inside, a blond man and a tall woman. The blond man sat down in the chair. “Morning, I’m Marvin,” the man said confidently. Wasn’t it the evening?
The tall woman blinked before beginning to speak, “Hello. My husband here has been cursed by the wizard down the street to only speak in words containing the letter ‘m’.” Marvin looked down in shame.
“Mhm,” he said. Wait a moment… magic isn’t real. Is this some sort of joke? Zinnia looked at the woman in confusion.
“But… wizards don’t exist. Are you playing a prank on me?” she said, perplexed.
“Wizards are real!” the wife argued. “Surely there’s something you can do to help us?” Zinnia shook her head.
“Please come back to me with a real problem,” she said. Zinnia pointed towards the door. “I have more people waiting for me.”
The lady nodded sadly and grabbed Marvin’s hand, leading him out the door. Soon enough, another pair of people came into the room.
An old lady with a witch hat and a little boy in a panda onesie sat down in the chair, the little boy on the lady’s lap. “Hello,” the woman said. “I’m Miss Adalaide and this is my grandson, Little Leo. He lost his stuffed panda Chris and can’t find him again.” Little Leo’s face scrunched up sadly.
“How can I help you find the lost panda?” Zinnia said. Surely this was the last of the absurd issues.
“Well, I’ve used my crystal ball to locate him next to a stream surrounded by bushes, but I’m not sure exactly where that is.” Adelaide said. Little Leo looked even sadder than before, and Adelaide hugged him close. Crystal ball? Maybe Adelaide was lying to comfort Little Leo.
“Have you tried following the stream running behind the neighborhood? At least… I think there’s a stream there. I heard it when I was trying to sleep last night,” Zinnia suggested.
Little Leo lit up. “I don’t tink Gwamma looked dhere,” he said. Adelaide nodded.
“I’ll look there tomorrow. Thank you for your help,” she said. Adelaide stood up and carried Leo out of the room.
One final knock on the door and the last of the neighbors walked in. It was an old man with a long white beard and a crooked wizard’s hat, an old woman who resembled an inflatable tube-woman, and a doctor. The old woman took the chair.
“Hello, my name is Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tubewoman, this is my ex-husband Mr. Maxia, and my fiancé, Mr. Myers (yes, he is my doctor),” she said.
Zinnia nodded. “So, what is your problem, Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tubewoman?” Wow, that name was a mouthful. Zinnia set her hands on the desk.
“Two weeks ago, Mr. Maxia pushed me off of a cliff. He claimed it was for an experiment. I barely survived and was in a coma for a week.” She said seriously. Mr. Myers nodded in confirmation and Mr. Maxia leaned on his cane even more.
“Why hasn’t she taken you to court yet?” Zinnia asked.
“She can’t take me to court because I’m a wizard! Wizards are very powerful in the court room, especially ones that went to lawyer college,” Mr. Maxia cackled. Zinnia felt disturbed.
“That’s… alarming. What caused you to push Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tubewoman off of a cliff, Mr. Maxia?” she asked.
Mr. Maxia grinned and the doctor grimaced. “Part of an ongoing plan of mine… I can’t reveal it yet because that would spoil the surprise.” Again, Mr. Maxia laughed hysterically.
Zinnia pulled away from the table a little bit, moving away from the crazy man. “Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tubewoman, I would recommend taking this man to court and finding a good lawyer,” she said. Wait… was Mr. Maxia the wizard that had cursed Marvin?
Mr. Maxia frowned. “Yeah… well I will win in court! And then we can remarry and be happy again! I still love you, Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tubewoman!” he screamed. Mr. Maxia ran out the door.
Zinnia stood up and ran after him. She skidded to a stop and turned to see Mr. Maxia standing next to the lever. “Soon, you will all see my true power!” he yelled to the crowd. “I have almost finished my Retro-Mutagen! Soon you will all pay! But first, a small parting gift. Enjoy the hour-long scrunchie rain!” Mr. Maxia pulled the lever and dissolved into smoke. Zinnia looked out the window of the building. It was raining scrunchies outside. Maybe magic is real after all.
Hope you enjoyed!
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Great job putting that all together so far!