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Hello and Welcome.

I bet you're wondering "Why am I looking at this blog?" Well, to answer your question, you are here because YOU were drawn to the mystery that is... zGrizzly! You probably already know; I am a Pirate Hat wearing, Rainbow regurgitating, Chainsaw wielding Gansta bear who is accompanied by dazzling sparklez. And you know, I bet you're wondering more than anything.:

There is only one answer. I'm just that awesome. No, really. Dollars hates me. He suggested I try to become human. I transformed into what you humans call "Chuck Norris". GirlyCrafter loves my Aryll skin. Vrej has given me a shoulder massage, and he was the one relieved. Exurbia has gotten weak at the knees at the sight of me saving walruses for charity. Fokkusu doesn't know me yet, and has already asked for my John Hancock. Paril blamed me for a problem involving PMC coding. PHCris once asked to sketch myself and The Caterpillar while smoking hookah and drinking Mountain Dew. I obliged.

DeviI_in_Person once asked me to go to church with him. On a Sunday. I went. ZaphodX asked me to make him a tutorial on being a bear. I refused. Instead he lived with me for a week. He sub-hoared the entire time. I didn't subscribe. I met a CopDoctorLawyer once. We had a few beers together, stole his partners cop car, then defended ourselves in court and got away with it. There was this one guy, Conquer, who was awesome. We invented Awesome Sauce together and poured it all over stuff that was rad. Rad is the color of Awesome Sauce. Plyr_783 and myself went to Chocolate City, Utah and Hershey, Pennsylvania in one day. We invented the Smore. Plyr swam in a chocolate waterfall, then bought his own chocolate volcano, complete with hot lava-fudge. I hung out with a DancingWalrus once. We went to Las Vegas, and ended up buying Caesar's Palace. Weirdly enough, when we were playing craps, his hands fell off. I glued them back on for him. Then we saved Christmas. Santa gave us both reindeers. I ate mine. I smoke Hookah with The Caterpillar from "Alice in Wonderland" on a regular basis. We listen to "Smooth" by Rob Thomas Featuring Santana while we smoke. I have Walt Disney on speed dial. I spread "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" on a bagel, and fed it to Mick Jagger. He thought it was butter for 3 years.

I've played mini golf with The Most Interesting Man in the World. He let ME win because "My glasses remind him of success". I don't always drink, but when I do, It's usually in a bar. At age 10 I beat "The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time" and only died 4 times. I have an extensive music collection ranging from As I Lay Dying to Michael Bublé. The only time I've kissed a girl and haven't like it was when I kissed my Grandma (on the cheek). She's a spiteful old schloot. Not to mention she smelled like mothballs and death.

Despite these accomplishments, I have not yet ascended to royalty on PMC. Therefore, I shall remain until I have accomplished my goals on this website. And if you doubt me, you will be among the few who do not get an award when I do become one of the greats.

Still don't believe me? Then I shall prove you wrong. Here is a clip of me performing at a local Zoo with the lightsaber I received from Liam Neeson when he invited me on the set of "The Phantom Menace" and told me "You are the true Jedi Knight. I am your padawon.". I performed free for children with autism.

So, now you know about who I am. zGrizzly; Catcher of Salmon, Thief of Women's Hearts, Honored Jedi Knight amongst Sith Lords, Smoker of Pixie-Stick Hookah, The Original "Good Guy" who Finished last (Ladies First), Avenger of Walrus' Unjust Killing, Practitioner of Jeet Kun Do, Vanquisher of Quesadilla's, and Lover of LARPing. You now know me as you should, and let there be no room for error. The Bear, the Myth, The Legend. I am zGrizzly, and I am Awesome.* It's nice to formally introduce myself.