Boris got kicked out of his favorite restaurant last night, after wrestling a taxidermied crocodile. It had a real smug look on its face, and kinda looked like the one that sunk his cousin's boat last week. Poor cousin Earl lost 4 barramundis to that oversized leather-boot.

After he was thrown out, he landed atop of an old lady. No problem, no worries, the lady didn't mind, they both got back up on their feet again, Boris helped her up. Unfortunately, Boris' lassie; Lindy, saw him holding hands with the old hag. So Lindy took out her pocketknoife, and slashed his knee, whilst telling him "We're through, you filthy old pig!".

Boris was humping back to his flat, when all of a sudden, a gang of dingoes stopped him. The chief dingo stepped forward, and said to him; "Oi mate, you gis us ya money, or we'll boite ye legs off loike a...". The dingo chief couldn't come up with any good comparison. So he looked at his good pal, Dennis the dingo, staring deep into his rayband sunglasses. "Ayie let's just kill 'im mate!". The dingoes agreed, and they jumped on poor Boris. Boris fought off the dingoes the best he could, and succeeded. The dingo chief said "Aight bazzer, yer a bloody legend, we'll leave yous alowne!", and the dingoes dazzled away.

Boris, now with a knife-wound, a lifetime ban from his favorite restaurant, and probably infested with rabies, crawled back to his flat, only to discover... he had forgotten 'is bloody keys at the restaurant.


Please bear with him, he is a little cranky today. Crikey what a night.