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Curse of the Enderman-- Part 1

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KirbyMaster555's Avatar KirbyMaster555
Level 39 : Artisan Toast
27
The night was cold in the tundra biome. Luckily, I was holed up in a cobblestone home, next to a blazing netherrack fire. My colleagues, Dr. Ted Bone and Prof. Jimmy Pork Chop were fast asleep. I, however, was unable to reach the solace of slumber. We were in this environment to study the odd new creatures that had sprung up some time in November, 2011. The amount of research on these fantastic beasts was extensive, but only in conditions easier to handle than the snowier biomes. And so, we were called in. Something disturbing happened to me today, however. It was a bit after sunrise, and I'd left the house early to try to scrounge up some bones for our farm. The last of the skeletons had finally burned in the sun, and my pocket carried a cool 14 bones. On my way back, I steered clear of the creepers, when suddenly I was surprised thoroughly. I saw an enderman standing in the snow. This was normal; several reports of strange endermen filled our records; they'd stand, and when looked at, glitched around a bit before disappearing (This is a true fact; I've encountered it in MineCraft a number of times). However, they never attacked. I looked at it. It stared dead at my forehead, examining my mind, it felt like. I could hear its odd language slightly tap at my eardrums. Svasowie blosdjf morwee. Yep, total gibberish, just as always. To enact the glitch, I turned. This was when I jumped, and screamed for help. The enderman had teleported to me and gave me a good sock in the jaw. It knocked me off of my feet, and when I landed on the ground, I felt a cut on my jaw with my hand. I could hear my pals running at the endermen. I knew the monster was preparing for a fatal blow. I prayed that I would not die. My prayers, in the end, were not answered.

Come back for part 2, if you liked part 2!
Part 2: http://www.planetminecraft.com/blog/curse-of-the-enderman---part-2/
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1
01/18/2012 7:10 pm
Level 46 : Master Bunny
JustShiney
JustShiney's Avatar
Subscribed :P
1
01/18/2012 7:09 pm
Level 46 : Master Bunny
JustShiney
JustShiney's Avatar
It is very good and has a great use of extensive vocabulary. Just two things:

- Dont ask for diamonds for next part it will get you banned. Trust me I know!
- End the story with a cliff hanger to make the reader want to come back for more. Like a question. Just look at the endings of my stories.
1
01/18/2012 7:11 pm
Level 39 : Artisan Toast
KirbyMaster555
KirbyMaster555's Avatar
Thanks! I've written parts 1, 2, and 3 all at once, and this seemed quite cliff-hangeresque to me. Thanks especially about the diamond tip--will do!
1
01/18/2012 7:14 pm
Level 46 : Master Bunny
JustShiney
JustShiney's Avatar
Aghh cooolll I would release them every two days
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