75
I swung my sword around in an arch at the soldier and let go. It flew true and made a clean cut through his throat as I grabbed the end of the chain and pulled the sword back in the direction of me. As it moved through the air back towards me, I ducked and twitched the chain to spin the sword as a fan. The man sneaking up behind me was cleaved in two as the sword stuck in the ground behind him. His body comically fell in two different directions. I would have laughed had the situation not been so serious. Instead, I ran for the doorway ahead of me, grabbing my sword as I dashed onward, deeper into the heart of the castle.
The castle belonged to the dark king, who had ruled this land for the past thousand years, disregarding all sense of morale as he ran the kingdom of Kintab into the ground. Before he came to power, Kintab was highly regarded as one of the best kingdoms on the planet. We were the highest quality exporter on the planet, crime was the lowest of any other kingdom, the citizens were all treated fairly, and the earth was beautiful and well kept. But then, Sun'kt came to the land. His first acts upon arrival were to cause as much trouble as he could, and prove himself as an able fighter as he cut down all troops that were sent to prevent him from continuing his heinous acts. This continued for about a year until he found his way to the castle, where he quickly removed the king from power and placed himself upon the throne. Now, I was going to attempt to remove Sun'kt himself from power. I had trained for many, many years to become a good enough swordsman to combat Sun'kt. No one knew his level of skill, as no one who ever met him lived, but I felt that I had gained enough skill to at least, if anything, make it out of the castle alive.
I climbed another set of stairs as I advanced farther on. I had no idea where I was going, the castle was a labyrinth, and my only hope was to run through it and destroy all those who stood in my way until I reached the throne room. I got to the top of the stairs. I entered the next room, where my foot sank slightly with a stone into the ground. It was a pressure plate, and what it activated, I had no idea. I attempted to spin around and get back through the door before whatever trap activated and obliterated me, but I was too slow. A huge iron gate crashed down, trapping me in the room as another gate fell down and covered the other 3 exits. Then, the ceiling split and slid out of view. I waited, wondering what on earth was going to fall down. Then suddenly, with a crash that shook a few stones loose, a giant Gringal fell down.
A Gringal was a 4 legged beast with a hide that most swords would shatter on. It was very strong, with two muscly arms, and almost impossible to hide from, as it contained sensors all over its body instead of eyes. How Sun'kt had ever managed to capture one was anyone's guess, but that wasn't the matter now. The matter was that I could see a key hanging around its finger. I looked, and sure enough, there was a keyhole in the center of the room. The Gringal was still dazed from its fall, and taking a second to find me. I used this opportunity to observe the rest of the room and assess the use of any objects that were lying around. But my search proved fruitless, the only objects in the room being us, the key, and doors.
Then suddenly, the Gringal found me. It swung a powerful fist out and I had to throw myself to the side to avoid it. The fist instead made contact with the wall. As it withdrew I saw the stone had been turned to dust from the force of the punch. This gave me an idea. One which I would have to place into action quickly as the other fist was already aiming for my face. Again, I threw myself to the side, and ran to one of the doors. The Gringal withdrew its fist from the wall, and drew its other one back once again. I stood there, waiting for it to let fly. Then it did, and I threw myself to the ground for a third time. I heard the fist meet metal and then something creak. I looked back, and my theory had been proven. The door was now dented and almost broken off.
Then, the surprise came. As the Gringal pulled its fist back, the door bent with it, returning to its original shape. It seems I was going to have to face the Gringal head on. Quickly I got back on my feet, and started into a method of running around the walls of the chamber, listening to the Gringal as it constantly pounded the wall behind me. I kept up this method, waiting for the Gringal to wisen up. Finally, it did.
Instead of pounding the wall, it opted for a sweeping swing across my path. I jumped up and landed on the oncoming arm. I ran up as though it were a simple balance beam and drew my sword. I raised my sword above my head with two hands, and swung it point down towards the center of the Gringal's body. But it was fast, and hit me off like a simple fly. I crashed into the wall, thankful for the cushioned armor I had worn for this escapade as I slid down and landed on my feet. Dodging another Gringal fist, I threw my sword at the arm where it stuck in like a barb. The Gringal pulled its arm in the other direction, taking me with it.
I hit the arm, where I wrapped the end of my sword's chain around it, and the other around my leg in order to prevent it throwing me off again. I slid my sword out of the skin, and attempted to attack again. This time, my attempt was successful. The blade slid cleanly into the hide and pierced the Gringal's brain, killing it instantly. It crashed to the ground, and would have crushed me too if I hadn't unwrapped the chain in time to jump off and roll safely to the ground. Breathing heavily, I cut the key off its finger and inserted it into the keyhole. The doors opened, but I gave myself a small amount of time to regain my composure before sprinting on.
I ran through 15 more chambers, killing more men. I could feel that I was getting closer. There was an evil stench in the air, collected from the thousands of years of evil concentrating on a single place. And then, I entered the throne room, and finally saw Sun'kt.
I wasted no time, and launched myself at him. Ten feet away I jumped in the air and spun around, adding an average of 100 extra pounds of force into my swing. Then, two feet from making contact with Sun'kt, I saw him draw his sword, and with one hand, stop me dead in the air. The force of the blow was immense and nearly shook me off my own sword. He smiled at me in the creepiest way possible, then threw me back. I hit the ceiling, and stuck for a few seconds, before falling with a crash to the ground. This time I was hurt, but not enough to hinder me. I got back on my feet as Sun'kt rose from the throne. Now, he launched him self at me, with a two handed swing above his head. I placed my sword horizontally and prepared to meet his blow. However, I was not prepared for the blow that he delivered. It was not as bad as the first time, but it pushed me back along the ground a few feet. He forced himself off me using his sword as leverage and landed about 15 feet away. We both ran at each other now.
I went low and swept my sword at his feet. He stepped on it and jumped off, landing on the other side of me, spinning around in an arc which I counteracted just in time with my sword. I twisted my sword 90 degrees, placing contact of his blade on the flat of mine, and causing his sword to slide the length of mine. I used this opportunity to swing my sword under his in an attempt to cut him across the torso, however he jumped back and I only nicked his robes. He jumped forward at me again, swinging his sword from the position I had forced it into, and causing me to duck underneath. Now, he was vulnerable. He was currently in the air with my sword underneath him. I swung my sword upward with all the force I could muster. It went into his robes, and I felt it slice through something soft as Sun'kt drew a sharp breath.
Then, he let it out with an ear piercing scream. I saw a few of the softer stones crack, and I nearly went deaf myself. He began to wither about, suspended in the air by my sword, nearly causing me to loose control, all the while still screaming. I spun the sword around, pointed his head to the ground, and swung down. His skull made contact with the stones and a split second later my sword went through it. The screams were cut off instantly. Finally, after a thousand years, the dark king was dead.
It was time to rebuild the kingdom.
The castle belonged to the dark king, who had ruled this land for the past thousand years, disregarding all sense of morale as he ran the kingdom of Kintab into the ground. Before he came to power, Kintab was highly regarded as one of the best kingdoms on the planet. We were the highest quality exporter on the planet, crime was the lowest of any other kingdom, the citizens were all treated fairly, and the earth was beautiful and well kept. But then, Sun'kt came to the land. His first acts upon arrival were to cause as much trouble as he could, and prove himself as an able fighter as he cut down all troops that were sent to prevent him from continuing his heinous acts. This continued for about a year until he found his way to the castle, where he quickly removed the king from power and placed himself upon the throne. Now, I was going to attempt to remove Sun'kt himself from power. I had trained for many, many years to become a good enough swordsman to combat Sun'kt. No one knew his level of skill, as no one who ever met him lived, but I felt that I had gained enough skill to at least, if anything, make it out of the castle alive.
I climbed another set of stairs as I advanced farther on. I had no idea where I was going, the castle was a labyrinth, and my only hope was to run through it and destroy all those who stood in my way until I reached the throne room. I got to the top of the stairs. I entered the next room, where my foot sank slightly with a stone into the ground. It was a pressure plate, and what it activated, I had no idea. I attempted to spin around and get back through the door before whatever trap activated and obliterated me, but I was too slow. A huge iron gate crashed down, trapping me in the room as another gate fell down and covered the other 3 exits. Then, the ceiling split and slid out of view. I waited, wondering what on earth was going to fall down. Then suddenly, with a crash that shook a few stones loose, a giant Gringal fell down.
A Gringal was a 4 legged beast with a hide that most swords would shatter on. It was very strong, with two muscly arms, and almost impossible to hide from, as it contained sensors all over its body instead of eyes. How Sun'kt had ever managed to capture one was anyone's guess, but that wasn't the matter now. The matter was that I could see a key hanging around its finger. I looked, and sure enough, there was a keyhole in the center of the room. The Gringal was still dazed from its fall, and taking a second to find me. I used this opportunity to observe the rest of the room and assess the use of any objects that were lying around. But my search proved fruitless, the only objects in the room being us, the key, and doors.
Then suddenly, the Gringal found me. It swung a powerful fist out and I had to throw myself to the side to avoid it. The fist instead made contact with the wall. As it withdrew I saw the stone had been turned to dust from the force of the punch. This gave me an idea. One which I would have to place into action quickly as the other fist was already aiming for my face. Again, I threw myself to the side, and ran to one of the doors. The Gringal withdrew its fist from the wall, and drew its other one back once again. I stood there, waiting for it to let fly. Then it did, and I threw myself to the ground for a third time. I heard the fist meet metal and then something creak. I looked back, and my theory had been proven. The door was now dented and almost broken off.
Then, the surprise came. As the Gringal pulled its fist back, the door bent with it, returning to its original shape. It seems I was going to have to face the Gringal head on. Quickly I got back on my feet, and started into a method of running around the walls of the chamber, listening to the Gringal as it constantly pounded the wall behind me. I kept up this method, waiting for the Gringal to wisen up. Finally, it did.
Instead of pounding the wall, it opted for a sweeping swing across my path. I jumped up and landed on the oncoming arm. I ran up as though it were a simple balance beam and drew my sword. I raised my sword above my head with two hands, and swung it point down towards the center of the Gringal's body. But it was fast, and hit me off like a simple fly. I crashed into the wall, thankful for the cushioned armor I had worn for this escapade as I slid down and landed on my feet. Dodging another Gringal fist, I threw my sword at the arm where it stuck in like a barb. The Gringal pulled its arm in the other direction, taking me with it.
I hit the arm, where I wrapped the end of my sword's chain around it, and the other around my leg in order to prevent it throwing me off again. I slid my sword out of the skin, and attempted to attack again. This time, my attempt was successful. The blade slid cleanly into the hide and pierced the Gringal's brain, killing it instantly. It crashed to the ground, and would have crushed me too if I hadn't unwrapped the chain in time to jump off and roll safely to the ground. Breathing heavily, I cut the key off its finger and inserted it into the keyhole. The doors opened, but I gave myself a small amount of time to regain my composure before sprinting on.
I ran through 15 more chambers, killing more men. I could feel that I was getting closer. There was an evil stench in the air, collected from the thousands of years of evil concentrating on a single place. And then, I entered the throne room, and finally saw Sun'kt.
I wasted no time, and launched myself at him. Ten feet away I jumped in the air and spun around, adding an average of 100 extra pounds of force into my swing. Then, two feet from making contact with Sun'kt, I saw him draw his sword, and with one hand, stop me dead in the air. The force of the blow was immense and nearly shook me off my own sword. He smiled at me in the creepiest way possible, then threw me back. I hit the ceiling, and stuck for a few seconds, before falling with a crash to the ground. This time I was hurt, but not enough to hinder me. I got back on my feet as Sun'kt rose from the throne. Now, he launched him self at me, with a two handed swing above his head. I placed my sword horizontally and prepared to meet his blow. However, I was not prepared for the blow that he delivered. It was not as bad as the first time, but it pushed me back along the ground a few feet. He forced himself off me using his sword as leverage and landed about 15 feet away. We both ran at each other now.
I went low and swept my sword at his feet. He stepped on it and jumped off, landing on the other side of me, spinning around in an arc which I counteracted just in time with my sword. I twisted my sword 90 degrees, placing contact of his blade on the flat of mine, and causing his sword to slide the length of mine. I used this opportunity to swing my sword under his in an attempt to cut him across the torso, however he jumped back and I only nicked his robes. He jumped forward at me again, swinging his sword from the position I had forced it into, and causing me to duck underneath. Now, he was vulnerable. He was currently in the air with my sword underneath him. I swung my sword upward with all the force I could muster. It went into his robes, and I felt it slice through something soft as Sun'kt drew a sharp breath.
Then, he let it out with an ear piercing scream. I saw a few of the softer stones crack, and I nearly went deaf myself. He began to wither about, suspended in the air by my sword, nearly causing me to loose control, all the while still screaming. I spun the sword around, pointed his head to the ground, and swung down. His skull made contact with the stones and a split second later my sword went through it. The screams were cut off instantly. Finally, after a thousand years, the dark king was dead.
It was time to rebuild the kingdom.
| Credit | This story was originally written for my blog at http://thebasementnerd.blogspot.com/. Follow me if you like my stuff! |
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but anyways, the main problem is that you are forcing too much info into a small area. you have to spread things out, define things as they come, and dont attempt to say it all out at once.
for example, in my stories, when im introducing a new element i place it at the end of a paragraph, at someplace where a break is appropriate, and then use some or most of the next paragraph to define it, or end the paragraph with defining it.
also if you like it, whai no diamond D:?