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Diamond pickup lines

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avatar Imm0rt41
Level 39 : Artisan Explorer
75
Hey there. You may have seen me in the pmc chat before, advertising my amazing works with witty lines that fail to attract attention. So I decided that I would share these horrible lines with you, the pmc community! Use them at will, just tell people where they came from if you are inquired. Any place where I say _____ just replace it with blog/project/story/skin/genitalia.

My _____ needs a constant supply of diamonds to live.

My _____ is floating away. Quick, weigh it down with diamonds!

I forgot to buy an anniversary gift for my _____. Does anyone have any diamonds they can spare?

Help, my _____ is on the loose and trying to eat me. Sate is hunger with diamonds!

Your hands seem to be full of diamonds. Here, dump them on my _____.

What happens when you cross my _____ with diamonds. I dunno, lets find out.

Dear giddly god gosh, I made a super epic _____. I daresay this deserves a diamond!

5 bucks for anyone who gives my _____ a diamond.

Give my _____ a diamond or I'll smear your brains on the floor with a minigun.

Hey you. Yea, you. With the diamonds. My _____ wants those diamonds.

I need one more diamond to make a diamond pickaxe. Would anyone be willing to donate a diamond? Anyone?

My _____ lost all its diamonds. Why did it loose all its diamonds? I dunno. Blame Paril.

You have diamonds and my _____ doesn't. Can you spot what's wrong with this picture?

My _____ has lost his home. You can help him get it back by giving him diamonds! Submitted by XoXoAwesome

Ninjas stole mai kittez, need diamondz for karate lessons. Submitted by RedJohnxS

Odd. I lost my diamonds. Can I borrow yours for an eternity? Submitted by Moo2wo

Thatssss a nice diamond you have there. It'd be a shame if you didn't give it to me... Submitted by Treme10

Diamonds are useless. You don't need them. Give them to my _____ instead. Submitted by Peels9765

My _____ is now a creeper! Shove diamonds in its mouth to stop it from hissing! Submitted by jetfrog28

I'll stop killing babies if you give me a diamond. Submitted by Squidfather

Hey! May I borrow some of your diamonds? I haven't had any for such a long time :( Submitted by tanhuynh226

My _____ needs diamond ammo for his cannon. Anyone willing to donate?

My _____ is angry with me because I didn't get it a good enough birthday present. Help me pay for a new one with diamonds. Submitted by Bellaabzug21

Hey you! Give me your diamonds, NOW. Submitted by Fighterragon

Hello ladies. Look at your diamonds. Now look at my _____. Now back at your diamonds. Now back at my _____. My _____ could have your diamonds. But it doesn't. And if you stopped holding them, my _____ could have your diamonds. Look at my hands, its a chest with tickets to that thing you want to go to. Anything is possible with diamonds. I'm on a pig. Submitted by Kerrtastic

Government took my house, starving and broke, please give diamonds...God Bless. Submitted by korigon

If any of you have a clever and witty diamond pickup line, then post it in the comments below, and I'll be sure to grant you credit.

But of course, I can't do that without a few shiny diamonds first.....
Tags

2 Update Logs

Update #2 : 06/25/2012 11:51:08 amJun 25th, 2012

Changed *** to _____

Added new lines
LOAD MORE LOGS

1
07/01/2014 10:25 pm
Level 1 : New Explorer
Boruo
My genitalia will fall off if you don't give me diamonds for my ______
1
06/30/2012 3:13 pm
Level 35 : Artisan Engineer
theagamer20
my shit is floating away way it down with diamonds
1
06/26/2012 11:19 am
Level 28 : Expert Scribe
Meldorn
1 diamond for my _____ = 1 free hug.
1
06/26/2012 11:13 am
Level 35 : Artisan Network
vsingthegames
lol lol
1
06/26/2012 6:10 am
Level 27 : Expert Network
Korigon
Government took my house away, starving and broke, please give diamonds... God bless
1
06/26/2012 4:40 am
Level 50 : Grandmaster Architect
l Shino l
Wow you're a smart!

"Any place where I say _____ just replace it with blog/project/story/skin/genitalia."

BAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ok then, sure!
1
06/26/2012 2:43 am
Level 16 : Journeyman Taco
Kerrtastic
Hello ladies. Look at you diamonds, now back at _______. Now back at your diamonds, now back at _______. _______ could have your diamonds, but sadly it doesn't. If you stopped using lady scented body wash, ___________ could have your diamonds. Look at my hands, it is a chest with tickets to that thing you want to go to. Anything is possible with diamonds. I'm on a horse.
1
06/26/2012 3:32 am
Level 23 : Expert Robot
liam55136
This one is clever and funny. xD
1
06/26/2012 1:49 am
Level 3 : Apprentice Mage
SteamCyanToast
hey you Herobrine sent me for you diamonds now hand them over or my master will kill you
1
06/26/2012 1:02 am
Level 17 : Journeyman Toast
Gafloff
Never waste a diamond on a useless blog like this that is named ______.
1
06/25/2012 11:22 pm
Level 73 : Legendary Robot
Eastonium
Quick! Put another diamond in the elevator to get to the next level!!
1
06/25/2012 10:57 pm
Level 5 : Apprentice Miner
Fighterragon
40th diamond :)

Hey you! Give me your diamonds NOW!
1
06/25/2012 9:10 pm
Level 4 : Apprentice Miner
Glace1221
Never waste your diamonds on a _____.

Never waste a _____ on diamonds.
1
06/25/2012 6:31 pm
Level 35 : Artisan Ranger
cb46688
Eh, what is genitalia?
1
07/01/2014 10:27 pm
Level 1 : New Explorer
Boruo
LMFAO google it and look on google images
1
06/25/2012 6:37 pm
Level 39 : Artisan Explorer
Imm0rt41
look it up on dictionary.com, lol
1
06/25/2012 10:57 pm
Level 5 : Apprentice Miner
Fighterragon
It's what you pee from XD
1
06/25/2012 6:31 pm
Level 35 : Artisan Ranger
cb46688
If you give me a diamond, I won't summon CHUCK NORRIS!
1
06/25/2012 6:32 pm
Level 35 : Artisan Ranger
cb46688
I like Chuck Norris.
1
06/25/2012 6:14 pm
Level 28 : Expert Dragonborn
Bellaabzug21
my ____ is angry because I didn't get it a good enough present. Help me pay for a new one with diamondz
1
06/25/2012 3:08 pm
Level 52 : Grandmaster Creeper Hugger
Jetfrog28
My _______ is now a creeper. Shove a diamond in its mouth to stop it from hissing.
1
06/25/2012 3:02 pm
Level 32 : Artisan Demolitionist
Squidfather
I'll stop killing babies if you give me a diamond.
1
06/25/2012 10:39 pm
Level 16 : Journeyman Pony
Rabid Panda
HAHAHAHAHAH
1
06/25/2012 1:50 pm
Level 23 : Expert Archer
Saltash
I replaced all the blanks with genitalia :3
1
06/25/2012 12:49 pm
Level 27 : Expert Pokemon
tanhuynh226
Hey! May I Borrow Some Of Your Diamonds? I Have Not Had Any For A Long Long Time
1
06/25/2012 11:49 am
Level 33 : Artisan Pony
Peels9765
You don't need Diamonds. They are useless.
1
06/25/2012 11:35 am
Level 31 : Artisan Taco
Solarbuddy
I would give a diamond, but I took an arrow to the ***.
1
06/25/2012 7:53 am
Level 40 : Master Herobrine
yoavsnake
I don't want to know what *** is...
1
06/25/2012 10:21 am
Level 29 : Expert Nerd
crazypinkllama
You put what you like there.
1
06/26/2012 6:01 am
Level 40 : Master Herobrine
yoavsnake
O.o
1
06/25/2012 7:50 am
Level 69 : High Grandmaster Architect
carloooo
I used to have a diamond like you but then I took a creeper to the face
1
06/25/2012 1:55 am
Level 13 : Journeyman Miner
Treme10
Thatssss a nice Diamond u've got there it would be a shame if u didnt give it to me....
1
06/25/2012 12:50 am
Level 35 : Artisan Scribe
BigGuardian
The users must have mistaken that skin for my awesome ****. Would you please bring them back?
1
06/24/2012 11:39 pm
Level 30 : Artisan Zombie
SapPineapple27
Medic: The Diamond Goes Here.....Heavy: No!.....Medic: My Skill Is Wasted On This Team....Heavy: NOM NOM NOM Naum Nom
1
06/24/2012 11:33 pm
Level 9 : Apprentice Network
TheMooMeister
Odd. I lost my diamonds. Can I borrow yours for maybe a eternity?
1
06/24/2012 9:56 pm
Level 21 : Expert Ninja
Lloyd650
My *** seems to have no diamonds. Can you help that with your spare diamonds?
1
06/24/2012 8:58 pm
Level 3 : Apprentice Miner
dddsss1
this is so *** im going to give it a diamond ^.^
1
06/24/2012 8:53 pm
Level 20 : Expert Narwhal
gummycraft123
I love this post
1
06/24/2012 7:58 pm
Level 28 : Expert Ninja
_books
My *** lost all its diamonds. Why did it loose all its diamonds? I dunno. Blame Paril.

Best. Creepering. Line. EVER.
Oh yeah and mine.

My *** has lost his home. Help him/her/it get their house back by giving diamonds!
1
06/24/2012 10:13 pm
Level 30 : Artisan Toast
Conquer
Hahaha, everything's Paril's fault.
1
06/24/2012 4:01 pm
Level 37 : Artisan Grump
Baron_Von_Random
Ok I thought the *** was to blank out a cuss word :P I didn't read the top so I was super cofused :P Lol that makes so much more sense!
1
06/24/2012 4:42 pm
Level 35 : Artisan Grump
tex12347
Ditto
1
06/24/2012 4:27 pm
Level 14 : Journeyman Miner
GravityZero1811
haha me to
1
06/24/2012 4:29 pm
Level 37 : Artisan Grump
Baron_Von_Random
Lol. Hey imm0rt please put that in bold next time :P Diamond for u :D
1
06/24/2012 3:57 pm
Level 58 : Grandmaster Nerd
RedJohnxS
Ninjas stole mah Kitteh.. needz diamonds for Karate Lessions.
1
06/24/2012 1:32 pm
Level 60 : High Grandmaster Elf
Exurbia
I like the Blame Paril one.
1
06/24/2012 1:17 pm
Level 55 : Grandmaster Blockhead
Nyaruko Yasaka
I didn't read the beginning - only the pick up lines, and I was reading them out loud. Let's just say I was asking people to diamond my buttocks, and then I realised I had to actually replace it with a word.... damn. I lol'd
1
06/24/2012 3:51 pm
Level 28 : Expert Dragon
perfectwing
Same mistake, but in my head.
1
06/24/2012 12:52 pm
Level 69 : High Grandmaster Demolitionist
Camo7
"blog/project/story/skin/genitalia"
1
06/25/2012 1:50 am
Level 54 : Grandmaster Cowboy
SnargleBlargle
wut
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