I remember when I was seventeen, when I lived with my grandparents and two cousins in Kentucky, back when I was head over heels for Vanessa Worth and I had my first kiss in a bathroom stall at school. It's funny to think about that now; recalling memories like that helps pass the time while I'm lying in bed. Falling asleep is hard whenever your mind is stuck in the past.

Before I could drift into sleep I heard a loud beeping coming from the bridge, pulling me awake again. I unbuckled myself and wiped the sleep from my eyes. I quietly whispered to the on station artificial intelligence to turn on the lights then began to move toward the source of the sound. As I passed by the machinery lining the walls of the station I heard the occasional whir of a computer.

At the bridge I brought up the holographic display of the status of the ship and saw that I was flying toward an supermassive star and without diversion I would be risking total destruction. Fixing the course was as simple as pressing the confirmation button on the screen, redirecting the ship safely away from any detected threats. There was a low hum and the sound of metallic pounding as the ship turned itself then slowly settled again.

Now that I was fully awake I decided that it was best to start my day without sleep. Before anything I enabled gravity on the display, a function I keep off when asleep to save power on the dying ship. My feet fell to the ground as the gravity gradually returned and I re-familiarized myself to its feeling in my body and I began my walk toward the medical bay.

There I did my daily check ups. My first action was to prick my finger, depositing blood into the general purpose status checker to see my blood sugar, then I placed my arm into its holster and checked my blood pressure. I recorded both of the results on a nearby notepad, and took it with me. I went through my full routine to monitor the status of my body, ensuring that I was completely healthy. When I finished I went to the cafeteria.

The cafeteria is so empty and silent when you're the only person left on the ship. Walking through the empty aisles around the tables made me think of school and trying to find a table to sit at during lunch. It was a lonely feeling.

I started laughing as I remembered my antics when I was in high school at lunch, just messing around with my friends and causing trouble. There was a bittersweet sensation to all of that nostalgia, letting that all come back to you. It was like I wanted to cry but there was something holding me back. I hadn't cried even once since I came here.

Looking over the vending machine for different options to eat I realized I wasn't very hungry anyway. I'd eaten every possible combination of meal there was at this point and it just felt like a burden to have to nourish myself daily. I didn't want to bother anymore.

Thinking back on it I wondered if I could have done anything differently, to save anyone else, and maybe I would have someone left with me here. But it seemed impossible that anyone else could have survived, not when there was only space for one person in the pod to protect from the neurotoxin automatically released into the interior of the ship. And if I had chosen to go with the staff on their escape ship then I would have been tried and executed or even sold back into the slavery I'd tried so hard to escape from.

Eventually I made my way back to the bridge where I sat looking into the void. In my peripheral vision I could see the distant twinkle of the star I had avoided. There still weren't any planets, just like it had always been.

At this point I'd given up trying to find anywhere suitable for life as the chances of that were so low that they might as well be zero. Whenever I chose this life over dying with the people I had known for most of my time here in the glory of our rebellion I doomed myself to this isolation. Now I was just a runaway.

On the holographic projection I turned off gravity again and began to drift around lazily, closing my eyes and letting myself relax. It was nice to lay down in the silence but eventually I bumped into a wall and it startled me enough to ruin the experience. It was pointless anyway.

Once I was back to the cabin I strapped myself into the bed and closed my eyes to sleep. I didn't have anything to do today so it was all that I could do.

But that only brings back more memories. And what haunts me the most is the memory of driving home with Vanessa late in the night and hearing a roar that I couldn't identify and then suddenly being overwhelmed with light, so much light that I was stunned and all that I could hear over the roar was Vanessa yelling for help, yelling and crying until I was unconscious. Then I woke up here.