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Dungs & Dookies: Fortress Of Poor Life Choices - Part 3 "Pit Of Filth"

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avatar Carcharodontosaurus
Level 56 : Grandmaster Caveman
474
WARNING - This is a continuation of an adventure, you cannot "start" from this part, unless you have completed the part prior to this one.


Welcome to yet another Dungs & Dookies adventure.
You will need a dice to go on this voyage.




First, you need to know your base stats and inventory.

You have 14 Hit Points (HP). When you reach 0 in a fight, you die. If you win a fight, you heal up all your HP afterwards.


At this point, you have 0 armor. Having 1 armor, means you can minus 1 damage from an opponent's attack.


Right now you have a short-sword, which provides no extra damage. Other weapons and items can be obtained through your journey.

To keep track of your equipment, as well as your health and status in combat, you should also have a paper sheet and a pen, to keep track of the damage flow.

Now to your equipment slots:



Weapon


Battle-axe
, Daggers, Short-sword, Banana

Shield
(If you have a Battle-axe or Daggers equipped, you cannot wield a Shield)


Armor


Helmet

Chestplate

Gloves

Boots

Amulet

Ring



BUT IF, you have completed ANY prior adventures and claimed items from there, you may use those as well.

In case you haven't completed any of the other adventures, you can choose ONE of the following weapons:



Big Massive Awesome Double-edged axe

Provides you with a +2 bonus to damage, as well as "battle-axes" can be used in some special combat situations.

Thicc Iron Shield

Provides you with +1 armor, meaning you can minus 1 damage from an opponent's attack, as well as "shields" can be used in some special combat situations.

Fangs Of The Great White Spider Man

Provides you with a +1 bonus to damage. as well as "daggers" can be used in some special combat situations.



Part 3 - "Pit Of Filth"


Okay... so APPARENTLY you managed to defeat MY Burning Booger-man. Well heads up deuce-bag. This part won't be so terribly EASY as the burning booger. Oh no no. WELCOME TO "HELL" punk. You're about to get insides turned into your outsides, and outsides to the insides, as a 1000 rats with boxing gloves will be boxing at your outward-hanging guts. Sounds good to you? Well be my guest to continue!

You've now entered the magical doorway. And there's yet another long dark stairway leading down. You walk into the depths... As you reach the final steps, you see a faint cyan glow. It is snot-fire, burning around a torch. It is a massive cavern. And there are 5 different passages. The one in the middle has a large magical zeal, and torches by the walls. It is blocked, and there are 2 keyholes underneath each torch. The other passages are dark and uncertain.


Go to:

1: If you wish to walk through passage no. 1, furthest to the left.
2: If you wish to walk through passage no. 2, left to the middle.
3: If you wish to walk through passage no. 3, the middle passage.
4: If you wish to walk through passage no. 4, right to the middle.
5: If you wish to walk through passage no. 5, furthest to the right.

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Hope you enjoyed this adventure.

You can calculate your score here, depending on how many items and how much gold you acquired.

Fancy Pansy Ritual Knifes

600 Gold coins

'Soft Like A Badger' Boots

450 Gold coins

Really Pretty Gator Gloves

450 Gold coins

Talisman Of Toxic Rage

550 Gold coins

Crystalized Troll-snot Band

550 Gold coins

Ruby Blade

600 Gold coins

Ring Of The Merciless Merlot

600 Gold coins

Ruby Chalice

250 Gold coins

Iron Skin Potion

100 Gold coins

Red Power-Crystal

150 Gold coins

Lesser Healing Potion

50 Gold coins

Sack Of Shillings

200 Gold coins

Snot-plated Shield

700 Gold coins

Chain-wrapped Condi-boots

700 Gold coins

Burning Booger

700 Gold coins

Wooden Chestplate

550 Gold coins

Slimy Crown Of Meat-eating Branches
550 Gold coins
Ring-worm
550 Gold coins

Demon-Summoning Beads Of Demon Shrink Heads
750 Gold coins

Crystal Finger
750 Gold coins

Eye Of The Bowelbear
650 Gold coins

Dried Intestine Ring
650 Gold coins

Bowelbear Mittens
650 Gold coins




No more mr. Jarl1800 Gold coins
Scone1 Gold coin
Crystal Finger's rent paid1000 Gold coins
Side-Quest completed: "Lair Of The Bowelbear"1000 Gold coins

Golden Chalice

300 Gold coins

Amethyst Chalice

400 Gold coins

































.
CreditThe gremlin that stole my toilet. He forgot a script for a very bad John Carpenter sci-fi action movie. I just altered it, and then KAPOW! Turds in words!
Tags

2
07/08/2020 11:54 pm
Level 27 : Expert Musician
OCEAN_F1SH
wow this is like real dnd! great job!
1
07/09/2020 5:51 am
Level 56 : Grandmaster Caveman
Carcharodontosaurus
This is D&D
This is Dungs & Dookies
This is where skill dies, and rng is your god
And you are a slave to rng, puny dice-roller!
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